I usually don't cross post (in fact this is the first time), but I started babbling about daddy on my other blog and wanted to just say it here where all of you other people who knew him and loved him could see how I feel on the subject of "accepting" the death of my daddy.
"...I mean here I am, 11 months and a week after my dad died, and I still am in the anger stage. I am no where near acceptance. I don't....I do NOT....accept this new reality. I deal with it. I am learning to live in it, but by no means do I accept it.
I actually looked the word up in a dictionary....some of the definitions are: receive with approval or favor; to agree or consent to; to accommodate or reconcile oneself to; to regard as normal, suitable, or usual; to regard as proper, usual, or right.
If these are the common definitions of the word, then why does everyone keep telling me that I have to accept this horrible, terrible thing called death and move on with my life? Why would I receive it with favor or agree with it or think of it as normal? Yes, I know that death is normal...but I don't have to freaking agree with it and consent to it! About the only definition that I somewhat can understand is: to reconcile oneself to. Which means: be resigned to something not desired; come to terms with.
So, I guess I have to be reconciled to this new reality. Because I will never accept it."
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