When Daddy Died

Tuesday, May 22, 2007 started out like a normal day for Grace and I. We went to the park with our friends, then home for lunch. She took a nap, then we went shopping for birthday presents. After shopping, I started to drive downtown to meet my old college roommate and another college friend who were in town for supper.

My aunt called me and told me that daddy wasn't doing really well and that the doctor wasn't sure if he would survive or not. She said that I need to think about coming home. Well, I called and canceled my evening plans and turned the truck around. I was sobbing uncontrollably. Something inside of me realized that this could be it. That my daddy might actually die.

I called Jeff and Shanna and Ryan. Jeff left work and took off for home. Shanna told me she didn't know what she was going to do, that she was going to where Shawn was. Ryan told me that he was planning on going home on that Thursday (he didn't have time off at his new job).

Jeff was waiting for me in the driveway when I pulled in. He said what are you going to do? By that time, I just knew deep down that something was wrong.I told him I was going home. He said when. I told him as soon as I could pack. I remember him saying that I didn't need to drive so late in the state of mind I was in. And I remember that my response was, "What if he dies tonight and I'm not there?"

Right after I said that, the phone rang again. It was Aunt Sharri. She told me that it was getting worse, that he was getting worse. Something about his heart and his lungs. She said you need to come on. I told her that I was already packing and I would be there as soon as I could. I called my brother again and told him that he had to come on with me tonight, that daddy might not make it. He got off the phone to call his boss.

In the other room, Jeff's phone rang. He missed the call, but thanks to caller ID we knew it was Aunt Sharri. Then my phone rang. I answered the phone and when she asked if Jeff was with me, I knew that daddy had died. I said yes, would you like to talk to him. As I handed the phone over to him, I said, "My daddy died." He said, "WHAT?" I said, "Well, I don't know, but I think so." I watched him intently as he talked to Aunt Sharri. He looked at me and just nodded.

I sank to the floor. I was so shocked, even though I know the Lord was preparing my heart. I couldn't cry. I couldn't think. I just knelt on the floor next to my half-packed suitcase. I heard Jeff say that Aunt Sharri should call Ryan. I shouted no, that I would tell him.

Jeff took Grace and gave me some privacy. By this time, tears were flowing steadily down my cheeks. I called my baby brother. He said he was on the other line with his boss getting permission to come home. So, I told him to call me right back.

The next moments were a blur. As Jeff finished getting the house ready for our departure, packing himself and Grace, I just sat in stunned silence. Eventually, I made my way to the office, so I could send an e-mail to my friends asking them to pray for my mom. As I sat in front of the computer, I had no idea how to type what I was feeling. So, I just said, "Daddy died. Please pray for my mom."

I called Ryan again. He had permission to leave, but he was in the middle of traffic, driving home. So, I told him that I would come and pick him up for the ride. I asked if Jeanie was home. She wasn't. I told him to call me when he got in the apartment. I think he thought I was weird or something, but I just knew that he would need to be in his house when I gave him the news, not driving around Austin or walking in his parking lot where anyone could see.

I went to our neighbor's house and asked her to watch Bentley. I broke down sobbing again. Then, I called Ryan, again. He was fixing to get in the shower. I said, "Ryan, I got another phone call." He asked what was the news. I told him simply and bluntly, "Daddy died." I am crying now thinking of it. There was a moment of silence. Then I heard his voice crack and he asked if I was serious. I said, "I would not joke." At this point, we were both crying. He needed to get off the line. I understood, but as soon as I hung up, I called Justin.

Justin lives in the same apartment complex as Ryan. Ryan has always thought of Justin as an older brother. I was crying so hard, that I can't believe Justin even understood me. My heart broke a little more as I uttered the words, "Daddy died. Can you go be with Ryan?" Justin sounded as shocked as I still felt. He left immediately for Ryan's.

Though it felt like 3 or 4 hours since I got the call that daddy died, it had only been maybe 30 minutes. Jeff finally had the truck loaded up and Grace strapped in. We left for Ryan's house.

When we got there, Ryan and I hugged. Justin cried with us. Ryan and I somehow ended up in his closet. I think looking for a belt. We ended up standing in there, embracing and crying for about 10 minutes.

We left his apartment for Shreveport. The entire ride, Ryan and I talked about Daddy. We cried. We laughed. We remembered.

As I sit here, remembering that dreadful day, I cry. But, as I read through this blog, I am able to laugh and remember the good times. So, thank you to everyone who has contributed so far. Please, keep your memories coming. Everyone out there was able to see a side of my dad that I didn't get to see or know. I would love to share in those memories with you.

Don't forget. He loved us all so much.

Aimee