Memories of my Daddy

Grandkids

2008-07-13T23:35:00.005-05:00

I miss hearing Daddy go on and on about his "grand babies" so very much. I don't think I ever had a conversation with him since Shawn David was conceived that didn't include grand babies in it! This is the only professional photo of mom and dad with all the kids. The Christmas before Daddy died, we were lucky enough to all be together and got a few then.

You and Your Crazy Family

2008-07-13T19:55:00.001-05:00

I totally miss seeing you interact with your family. All of you are just a tad off and when you guys got together, there was no stopping the madness.

The Whatley's

2008-07-13T19:29:00.000-05:00

Not sure when the photo was taken, but I know it was at the lake...someone e-mail me and let me know!

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-18T08:33:00.002-05:00

Father's Day was this past Sunday. I thought I was doing pretty good, until I broke down crying in the middle of Home Depot. I think it was the combination of not being able to call Daddy to wish him a Happy Father's Day and being in that particular store. He loved to go there and just walk around. I can't tell you how many gift cards I have bought for him over the years to Home Depot.

I sat down that night to type on here, but I just cried.

I miss you so much, Daddy. I love you.

We made it....

2008-06-03T17:15:00.000-05:00

or did we really? The calendar says that we did. But, it doesn't feel easier today than it did this time last year. Not so fresh, but just as shocked. Just as sad.

If you noticed I didn't (couldn't) update on the days that surrounded his death...the last day I heard his voice (May 14, 2007), the last positive updates, the day he died, the day of the funeral. I just couldn't. I laid in bed pretending to sleep while tears rolled down my eyes thinking of him and every thing I have lost. Who my mom has lost, who Grace lost.

What does that mean, anyway? He isn't lost. I know where he is. And it isn't where I want him...here with us. Does that make me selfish to all the Christians who know he is in heaven?

All I know is I miss him.

May 13, 2007

2008-05-13T23:52:00.001-05:00

May 13, 2007 was supposed to be just an ordinary day. It was Mother's Day and beautiful outside. All over the United Sates, people were honoring their moms. Taking them out, showering them with flowers and homemade cards.

I wasn't able to wake up to Grace giving me breakfast in bed, because I was in Shreveport with my mom and dad. I gave mom a gift, but instead of going somewhere nice for lunch, or a cozy breakfast in bed, she and I spent the day at the hospital.

Two days before, I was a little worried about my dad. I mean, he was still on the ventilator and getting dialysis and had so many tubes coming and going everywhere. I thought for a few minutes that day that I might be there a while.

Then, he seemed to start getting better. Slowly, the amount of drugs hooked to his central line started to lower. He woke up and recognized us and even signed a little bit to us. I remember watching his hands make the "I love you" and the "I love you with hugs and kisses" signs. He communicated as best he could. Telling us each that he loved us, asking where people were, blinking yeses and nos to our questions.

So, on Mother's Day, after the lunch time visit, I decided to go home. I thought that I could see Grace for Mother's Day, spend my birthday at home and then go on a date for my anniversary. I thought that I would come back the following weekend and see Daddy. I figured by then he would be up and moving about and talking and joking again.

Little did I know that the ordinary Mother's Day that I woke up to would become something extraordinary. The last time I ever saw my daddy alive. The last time I kissed his head and squeezed his hand. One of the last things I said was "I will see you next week, Daddy. I love you."

A Year Ago Today

2008-05-09T17:47:00.003-05:00

One year ago today, at this very moment, I was sitting in a full waiting room, filled with hope and excitement, with a small amount of fear mixed in.

Daddy was in surgery, finally receiving his long-awaited for liver transplant.

The hope and excitement that I felt, the overwhelming relief was enough to make me weak in the knees. I tried not to think about the "other" family. The one that was making funeral arrangements because someone they loved had just died. I kept telling myself it was in God's plan that the person who died happened to do so just in time to save my daddy's life. I struggled not to cry for them as I rejoiced for myself and my family. I fought to keep them away from my heart.

Today, it is not so easy to do that. They just "crossed" over the one year mark. The one that is coming up for us. They are mourning and sad and they didn't deserve to have their loved one die for anyone else to live. I think of all the sorrow and grief that I have felt the past 12 months and I am sad that they do it also. Do they take comfort in the thought that the person they loved saved lives while dying? Do they know that not every one he/she donated to made it? Do they think, "What a waste?" like I sometimes do?

From time to time this year, I have thought of them. Should I send them a note, thanking them for their generosity? Should I tell them of they hope that they gave us? Should I tell them about the man my dad was? How does one write a note like that when the out come wasn't at all like we or they wanted it to be?

The fear I felt in the waiting room was not real. It was a small thought in the back of my mind. A little tickle in the back of my throat that I could ease with a sip of water, if that analogy makes since. It was there, but it wasn't real...because no where in my mind did I ever think or consider that my daddy wasn't going to make it.

When the doctor came to tell us that he was out of surgery, we all rejoiced. We didn't pay attention to the fatigue that he wore like a heavy coat over his shoulders. We didn't notice the worry that crinkled around his eyes. We shrugged it off on his personality, on the thought he had done 2 back-to-back transplants that day. In fact, I barely heard his words after he told us he was done and that daddy survived. It is only in hind-sight that I see his worry over his patient, his fatigue from a surgery that didn't go as well as hoped instead of the elation or excitement that I am sure most surgeons feel when the patient sails through with flying colors.

I foolishly thought the worst was behind us.

When we were finally allowed to go see daddy in the ICU, I looked at him in horror. I still have the image of him laying in that bed stuck in my mind like a brand new snap shot, clear and precise. I see the grayish-yellow, sickly pallor of his skin, the blood that ran like water and tears down his face leaking from everywhere it seemed at the time. For a moment, fear paralyzed me. I was scared to reach out and touch him, to speak even one word.

Then, I thought, "Man, Aimee, you are so dumb; he is fine, he is wonderful, he is ALIVE." I reached out and gently touched his hand, his forehead. I whispered softly to him that I loved him and rejoiced with my siblings and mom that it was done.

As I walked out, I said to them, or maybe just thought it, "Wow, we could have lost him today." Then shrugged it off as easily as I did the earlier fear in the waiting room. "Because, my daddy IS invincible and God won't let someone so wonderful, so good and true die after all he had been through and all he had done for God."

Naive isn't even the word, right?

The day ended with my mom, sister and I sleeping in the hospital, giggling and joking about silly and mundane things. We were all so over come with joy and hope for the future. We teased each other, laughed together and had a good night, sleeping one on a couch and 2 in a tiny, hospital bed. We didn't care. Daddy was ALIVE and on his way back to being who he was before this dreaded disease infiltrated his body, our lives.

From my other blog.....

2008-05-03T01:00:00.000-05:00

I usually don't cross post (in fact this is the first time), but I started babbling about daddy on my other blog and wanted to just say it here where all of you other people who knew him and loved him could see how I feel on the subject of "accepting" the death of my daddy.

"...I mean here I am, 11 months and a week after my dad died, and I still am in the anger stage. I am no where near acceptance. I don't....I do NOT....accept this new reality. I deal with it. I am learning to live in it, but by no means do I accept it.

I actually looked the word up in a dictionary....some of the definitions are: receive with approval or favor; to agree or consent to; to accommodate or reconcile oneself to; to regard as normal, suitable, or usual; to regard as proper, usual, or right.

If these are the common definitions of the word, then why does everyone keep telling me that I have to accept this horrible, terrible thing called death and move on with my life? Why would I receive it with favor or agree with it or think of it as normal? Yes, I know that death is normal...but I don't have to freaking agree with it and consent to it! About the only definition that I somewhat can understand is: to reconcile oneself to. Which means: be resigned to something not desired; come to terms with.

So, I guess I have to be reconciled to this new reality. Because I will never accept it."

Now for a REALLY random thought...

2008-05-03T00:56:00.001-05:00

You know how when you slam your finger in a door and it catches you right on the tip of your finger, and you get this ugly, purplish-black mark underneath your finger nail? Isn't that gross?

Well, the other day I slammed my finger in the front door (really stupid of me I know). And now I have that nasty little mark on my left index finger. I hate it. But, every time I look at it I am reminded of daddy. Yes, I know, everything reminds me of him.....

I remember that he slammed or hammered his nails (haha, pardon the bad pun) frequently. He used to always apply a really hot needle or pin to it to burn through the nail to release the blood that forms that ugly mark. I haven't ever had the courage to do that, but I sure wish he were here to do it for me.

A random memory...

2008-04-23T03:34:00.000-05:00

Once, when we were living on Bay Tree, I came down stairs in some outfit that apparently wasn't appropriate for my age. Daddy took one look at me and said, "You can't even wear that by yourself in your closet...go change your clothes!"

An empty hole...

2008-04-23T03:12:00.000-05:00

Having daddy gone from our daily lives has left this huge, gaping hole in the pit of me. Not just in my heart. When I think of him I become sick in the center of my being. A longing just to hear his voice or see his face overcomes me. A huge, painful lump is in my throat, making it hard to swallow. Odd isn't it, how grief - an emotion - can change the state of our physical body.

Does every child feel this huge loss at the death of their parent? I think that I must be alone in this kind of grief, for surely no other father and daughter loved each other more. Then I think of my sister, and my heart breaks a little more. Because I know that though we don't talk about it, she must feel the same way I do. And I wish so very much that she wouldn't have to go through this torment.

Strangely enough, no one talks to me about my daddy. My friends never mention him, though since I have moved here, most of my friends didn't know him. My own siblings and I don't even discuss him. Not really. Maybe a stray thought here and there...but then one of us inevitably changes the course of conversation.

The person who talks about him the most with me is my mom. And now it seems like I can't talk to her either...she just can't. I completely understand. Some days, I just can't talk either.

I read a book recently, by Kristin Hannah called Summer House. It was about the love between a mother and daughter. But this section made me think of both my mom and my dad. It is so very true in how I feel about them and about how they have shaped my life and how they have made me who I am today.

"...we are connected with one another. My mother is in the bones of my spine, keeping me straight and true. She is in my blood, making sure it runs rich and strong. She is in the beating of my heart. I cannot imagine a life without her.

I know how precious time is...when I close my eyes, I see him as he once was, laughing...looking forward to the rest of his life. I hear his voice in the wind, I feel his touch in the rain, and I remember...Life is short...I find the missing of him unbearable. I will reach for the phone and call my mother, and her voice will bring me back to him."

I don't miss Daddy less with time, but more. Today marked 11 months. And I am still counting every moment without him.

Spring Break

2008-03-13T21:46:00.000-05:00

This week is Spring Break for all the schools in Austin. And, while Grace isn't in school yet, we are surprisingly affected by the vacation. All of her activities are canceled for the week...Kindermusik, dance, story time, etc. All of this reminds me of how much fun we had on Spring Break last year.

Last year, mom, dad and Shawn David came over from Shreveport to visit with us. Ryan went to visit them right before the break and brought their car to Austin. Then, they rode the train over. From what Mom says, Daddy slept almost the entire way. Looking back, she says that she thinks that he was already getting sicker than we thought he ever would be.

Throughout the week, we were able to make wonderful memories that will last me the rest of my life time. I have an entire album full of photos of Daddy and Grace that I wouldn't have had otherwise. We did so many things...all of them fun, exciting and probably strenuous on Daddy's body. There were little things that happened during the week that made me realize that dad was getting worse...for instance: When we went to see the Alamo, it started raining. Usually, dad would run for an umbrella or a poncho and tell me to stay dry. This year, he eagerly stood in an overhang with mom and waited for something to come to him. I know this is a little thing, but it shows me (of course, in hindsight) that he just wasn't the same as before.

Another thing that we noticed was the way he walked. In stead of the normal, peppy pace that most people on vacation have, he kinda just trudged along...slowly plodding from place to place. I thought that he wanted to sit and rest with Grace to spend time with her - and while that might be partly true - I think that mainly he just needed to sit and rest. The dad that I grew up with would have left the babies with the mom and would take off to play with the boys. (He would have definitely taken some baby-cuddling time at the end of the day!).

Anyway, as time goes on - can you believe that it has been almost 10 months? - I look back and I can't believe how sick he was and I didn't even notice. Was it because I looked at him as invincible and immortal? I mean, what child looks at their parent and thinks that they will one day die? Or maybe I was just blind and naive...I didn't see what was right in front of me because I couldn't handle, couldn't accept it?

No matter why I didn't realize that dad was sick - the fact is - he was. Very sick. More ill than I ever realized until the day I had to clean out his medicine cabinet and saw more pills than any one person should ever have to take in a 24 hour period. Looking back, makes me realize that going on in life would have been so hard for him - so much harder for him than this dealing with death and grief thing is for me.

Any way...this week marks the year anniversary of the last of the fun memories that I have with my daddy. And, it just sucks.

A

2008-03-13T21:45:00.000-05:00

I have a little story to tell you about your dad. He was really a great person. One Wednesday night at church we were eating in the fellowship hall. At our table were me, your dad & mom, my daughter-in-law and another man from our church. Your mom had to went to get her either a salad or something to drink. So we were sitting there talking about music. We started talking about the music we used to listen to . We were talking about Jimi Hendrex & Janice Joplin. This other man at the table looked at us kinda funny and said you used to listen to that music and we both said yes. Then your dad looked at me and asked me if I knew who Grace Slick was and of course I did. He then said " do you know what one of the coolest things i ever did was"?? He did not wait for a reply LOL then he said i smoked pot with Grace Slick and we all laughed except the one guy. Your dad looked at him and said " that was before i was saved and when i sinned brother i was a good sinner".

That is what my boys loved about your dad. He did not put on that he had always been saved. They felt like they could talk to him about things because he had done things when he was young.

I love your mom and we both know with God's help she will get thru this. She already has come a long way.
Love & Blessings,
Carolyn Hughes

Christmas Past, Christmas Present, Christmas Future

2008-01-08T04:22:00.000-06:00

I know it is after Christmas, but I am just now able to really sit down and say what I have been feeling. This Christmas reminded me so much of what we have lost. More than a husband and a daddy - more than a grandfather and brother - more than a son and an uncle. While I can't really say that Daddy was the glue that kept the family together, I feel as if we just aren't whole without him. I know that our family will continue to be tight knit. But, it will never be the same.

Christmas Past:
Daddy had so many Christmas traditions that he personally carried out. Like the reading of the Christmas story from the bible - and the reading of The Cajun Night Before Christmas (complete with accent). He always passed out the gifts. He was the first to *Christmas Eve* someone. I remember stories of him and mom staying up half the night to get our Christmas ready for us. And for weeks ahead of time, mom would be making presents for us while we slept - and dad would be playing with our presents while he had the chance! I remember arguing with my sister on Christmas Eve and Daddy sending both of us to our room (and this was when we were both in college!). I have memories of excitement and joy and family and love. And they all center around him and mama.The both made the holidays so special.

Christmas Present:
This year Shanna read the Christmas Story and Shawn passed out the gifts. The kids were screaming and yelling and generally having a great time. All the adults were smiling as we watched them. But, we all cried a bit over what, or better, who was missing. And, that these sweet babies won't have the first hand memories of their Grandpa at Christmas.

On Christmas afternoon, we went to see your grave site. As I stood next to your grave, I felt such a pressure in my chest, constricted and tight. I felt empty and broken. Seeing the gravestone made everything feel so much more real.

We stood around where they laid your body in silence and sorrow. Then looked up, to where your soul is - and silently celebrated that you are free from pain and suffering.

Christmas Future:
They say that this year is the hardest. I don't see how it will get easier to go on without you in our lives. But, I know that we will keep your traditions going for our kids. They will listen to the Bible Story and the Cajun Night Before Christmas and it will be easier, perhaps, to tell them some memories of you while we read to them. Your life goes on through them.

Daddy, I miss you so very much. I love you.

Christmas

2008-01-04T14:46:00.000-06:00

This is my first Christmas in 35 years that was not spent w/ Mike. I have thought over the many Christmas gifts I have received from this man and I wanted to share them.

Our first Christmas - he gave me a robe. He had gone to a department store and the saleslady asked him what size. He stated that he "was a 40 and she's smaller, so give me a 38". I was a size 10. I wrapped it around almost double but wore it until it fell apart several years later. He also gave me a sewing machine which was well used in the years to come.

Christmas in Mansfield - I wouldn't tell Mike what I wanted. I wanted him to think about it and know me and plan accordingly. Wrong idea. He ordered my gifts from a cheap catalog. For Christmas, my gifts were a bacon press, an egg ring, and 3 recipe cards from the 3 kids; Mike got me a huge crackerjack diamond ring. I cried and cried and he comforted me as best he could. I explained that he had to think about me and that he knew the things I liked.

The next Christmas - he knew I loved White Shoulders at that time. I received white shoulders cologne, perfume, soap, bath oil, deodorant, powder. Nothing but White Shoulders. Still not great but better!

The next Christmas - I got wiser. I gave him an itemized list of what he was to buy. He stuck to it religiously. This went on for several years and then
He got wiser - He gave me Emeril's pots and pans ( I love to cook); watches (my style and color); manicures, pedicures, massages (oh yea!), took me shopping, and many more great things.

But my favorite gift was a personalized license plate. He had it made in the mall by my nephew Shawn. It said "the whining starts here". I loved the fact that Mike knew me. He knew that I liked to talk, share, vent, or even whine about my problems. And he loved me anyway and had fun with it. This became my sweetest gift and I had it on my car until it was totaled. I have always wished that it had been removed from the car before it was towed.

So, Mike, while I didn't receive a gift from you this year, I take my memories as my special gift from you. You have made me laugh and cry this season. Know you are in my thoughts. I love you...Donni

This Christmas

2007-12-27T09:42:00.000-06:00

Christmas was different without you. We were all together, but there was a definite void and we all kept saying, "If Mike were here..........". Terri and I were karaoke-ing and tried to get Randy to join us and he wouldn't, our comment was "If Mike were here, he'd be right up here with us." "If Mike were here, he'd be out there on the hayride with all his grandkids." "If Mike were here, he'd love this pecan pie." The reigning comment, though, was "Gee, I wish Mike were here." You were so missed by everyone. We reminisced and laughed and we reminisced and cried. We desperately missed you and Daddy. Randy and I visited you and Daddy at the cemetery and it was so sad. The holidays will never again be the same. Sure, we will make them as happy as possible for the generations following us, but for me, I'm just sad.

I love you,
L

Birthday Memories

2007-12-09T22:01:00.000-06:00

Your birthday has come and gone. The first one that we can't spend with you. It was so much harder than I thought it would be. I just wanted to call you so badly and tell you how much I love you. To sing your silly birthday song that you and mom always sang - then realized it wasn't funny anymore without you.

You used to hate that your birthday was between Thanksgiving and Christmas, because more often than not, people forgot about you. With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, sometimes it is easy to forget. I don't think your birthday will ever pass by forgotten by me...or mom or Shanna or Ryan.

When I was cleaning out your truck after you died, I found a birthday card that I had given you years and years ago. I still am so surprised that you carried it around in your truck. How much you must have loved me. More than I realized.

I can remember planning your 50th birthday party. Just about the whole family was there. It was so much fun to make a big to do over you. I wish I could have done it again this year.

I love you, daddy.
A

Missing You

2007-11-13T03:44:00.000-06:00

The days seem to just drag by now. I can't call you to tell you what is going on with me or ask for some advice for whatever I need help with. I think to all the times that I could have called you and didn't. Or called and only talked for a couple of minutes.

I also remember many times one of us would call - and you always asked the same question. "How is my baby?" Once Grace was born, that changed to, "How are my babies?" I love that I always felt so cherished and loved by you. How many other adult women can say the same about their daddy? I love that I still crawled into your lap to snuggle all the way up until I was almost 31.

Moments come when I want to call and ask a question about the bible. Or call and say do you know what day we did...? Or could you send me the photos from when...? Can you come take a family picture for us? Then it is like the grief just hits me fresh all over again. I miss you so terribly.

One of Grace's favorite things to do is look at her photos. There are so many photos of the two of you. She still knows your name and tells you she loves you. It breaks my heart that she won't know you like I do. I pray that God gives me the words to tell her.

I hope that you can see your grand babies - and see that you DO go on. Through us. Through them. Your mannerisms, your sense of humor, your expressions. They are still alive and in us.

This life is so weird without you. So sad and so lonely. I don't know how to live in it. I am learning day by day and finding joy in the love of family and Grace. But, it is like there is a hole in my heart now that will always be empty.

I remember when you told me you were scared that no one would remember you when you were gone. How wrong you were. No one has forgotten you. And I never, ever will.

I love you so much, Daddy. I miss you just as much.
A

Memories

2007-11-12T21:27:00.000-06:00

As I sit here looking at the pictures, I am flooded with memories. Memories that bring sobs and memories that bring laughter.

When we were about 8 and 5, a kid said he was going to hit me with his toy pistol and I told him, no you're not! And picked up the milk bottle by the door and hit him over the head with it. You were an innocent bystander and glass hit you in the nose and the folks had to take you for a stitch or two! I got in trouble!!

You were about 3 or 4 and were running through the upstairs apartment in Richmond, California with a pencil in your mouth - lead end inside. You hit the window and started screaming. Mom and Dad were frantic - they couldn't find the pencil and thought it had gone down your throat. After a lot of searching, they found it outside - it had flipped out the open window. You were ok.

When you were about 6 or so, you had a hernia operation. You got out of the hospital on Halloween day. We dressed up and went trick or treating - even though you had just got out of the hospital.

When you and I were just little kids, maybe 10 & 7 - we'd put on shows for Mom & Dad. We'd sing "I'd walk for miles, cry or smile, for my mama and daddy, I want them to know I love them sooooooooo!" An old, old, country song. It would bring tears to Mom's eyes and sometimes, Daddy's, too!! (Maybe from laughter!)

The times Mom told me that one day you'd be bigger than me and then I'd be sorry I picked on you so. One day, you chased me under the old blonde tv set and parked yourself there daring me to come out. The time had come!!! You were bigger and stronger.

The time we were walking down 2nd Ave. and the lady who became my piano teacher asked us if we were twins. We were about the same size then.

The time I had a blind date with a sailor friend of a friend of mine! He showed up in full Navy uniform and he was almost as tall as me. Poor thing had a great big nose and you and Dad took to calling him Eagle Beak!! Not to his face, of course, but you guys really gave me a bad time about that guy. I guess I was about 18 then - you would have been about 15!!

On Santa Lucia, when you would be the posted "watch" for the parents when my girlfriends and I were hanging out in the downstairs room - we had a code when one of them would start downstairs! You never forgot that!! lol

In Haughton one Saturday night when you and Mike Stuck tried to get on the horses after having a few too many - you two were soooo funny! You'd climb up one side and fall down the other.

The time you two got in trouble for, ummmm, slashing the sheriff's tires! I'll never forget that!!

The night Daddy passed away and the four of us went to IHOP at 2a.m. We were all drained and so tired, but we had such fun even though that was one of the saddest times for all of us.

When we'd just sit around the table talking about everything and nothing in particular.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving when we took our grandbabies to Jefferson to ride the train - we just had Shawn David and Savannah then. And the plans to take all our grandkids every year - your car actually filled up quicker than mine!!

The week we vacationed at Lake 'o the Pines in Jefferson, Texas. We had so much fun!!! The four of us playing in the lake like high school kids! We always had plans to do that again, but never did.

There are so many memories. I miss you so much. What I would give to just have one hour back. I'd say all the things I should have said - about how much you and your friendship meant to me down through the years. I had friends that came and went, but you were always there.

I love you.

L

Tractor Rides

2007-11-10T22:13:00.000-06:00

When Daddy bought the farm, one of the first things he had to have was a riding lawn mower - which from then on became known as the tractor. He LOVED to take the kids for rides. He had a little cart that he could pull behind it, giving little rides to Shawn David, then later Abigail, Aly and Grace.

When Grace was about 5 months old, she fell in love with tractor rides. Daddy, Mom and Ryan would take turns riding Grace around and around. I think every single time Grace went to visit, Daddy would take her for a ride. He loved to do it right before nap time - Grace would fall asleep in his arms and he would take her in to cuddle for her entire nap time.

Family Comes First

2007-11-02T21:10:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had a heart stopping experience? Well, I have when my uncle Mike suddenly passed away.

My uncle Mike was in the hospital for sometime. He was doing particularly well. My step-dad got the phone call on a Tuesday. I wasn't home. I had to umpire a U-8 game. I got home around seven.

When I came home, I realized that something was wrong. My mom finally told me what was wrong.

"What's wrong?" I asked in a worried voice.

"Rachel, Uncle Mike has died." My mom said in a sad voice.

I was in shock. I fell to the ground in tears. Uncle Mike was doing so well. I couldn't believe it. My Uncle Mike was gone.

My step-dad's older brother was gone. My cousin's dad was gone. My aunt's husband was gone. Worst of all, my grandmother's son was gone. My grandmother had to see her child be buried. That was the worst thing I have ever seen in my whole life. A mother had to see her child be laid to rest.

The next morning, my step-dad, little brother and I flew out of Philadelphia to Louisiana. We got to my Aunt Lynn's house and then, I saw Granny. Then, my heart just broke. To see anyone like I just saw my grandmother is just plain awful. I gave her a big hug.

I was very happy that I was there for my family. My Uncle Mike's funeral was sad and happy at the same time. It was a celebration of his life. I heard stories of him and was in shock. He did so many good things that I was not aware of. My Uncle Mike was and still is a superhero to me. He is the reason why I believe family comes first. Family is the first priority on my list.

When Uncle Mike left this world, it was a heart stopping experience for me. I will never forget my Uncle Mike. The question "why" is still in my head to this day. He is the reason why I believe that family comes first.

I will always live by this belief. Family is before anything. It is before sports, school and friends. My family is there for me when I have a problem, and I am going to be there for them when they have a problem. This is a belief that I will always have.

Rest in peace, Uncle Mike. I love you.

Rachel W.

Drowning Daddy

2007-10-30T21:58:00.000-05:00

I just thought of this the other day and have been chuckling ever since. Not long after Mike and Donni got married, we were all out at Mom and Dad's house in Haughton. We had eaten a big dinner and the girls were cleaning up in the kitchen. I had filled the ice trays and was going to carry them to the fridge when Mike came up and started picking on me. I acted like I was going to throw the water from the ice trays on him and he hit the trays and the water went all over me. Well, I grabbed the first thing I could from the counter - a boiler full of dishwater and started after him. He ran through the back door with me right behind him and just as I slung the water, he ran to the right and, low and behold, there stood my Daddy. I tried my best to get that water back in the pan, but it landed square in his face. Poor Daddy just stood there stunned. Mike fell over on the ground laughing until Daddy looked at him - he jumped up and started trying to dry Dad off and went on about what a terrible daughter to throw dishwater in his face. I have to say, Daddy took it quite well. Me - I ran the other way - just in case!!! We laughed a lot through the years over that one!!

Lynn

Missing You Digital Scrapbook

2007-10-08T01:33:00.001-05:00

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

Mosiac Photo

2007-10-08T01:15:00.000-05:00

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

My Good Friend

2007-09-30T22:40:00.001-05:00

I don't know if a brother and a sister can be best friends. Each has their own set of friends and their own crowd that they run with. When Mike and I were kids, we fought like cats and dogs, but don't let anyone else mess with either one of us, or they'd have to fight us both. I know that growing up, we were close - we played together on the beach in San Francisco, we climbed the "hill" together and to this day I don't know how we made it to adulthood. That was a big hill and at the bottom were the rocks in San Franciso Bay - big rocks! I remember one time, I got stuck half way up and was so scared and crying. I didn't think I'd make it up and when I'd look down all I saw was certain death. Mike talked me up that hill - I guess I was about 12 and he was about 9! We didn't climb that spot again - (smile).

One Sunday afternoon, Mom and Dad were taking a nap. Terri was a baby and was sleeping. Mike and I went down to the bay to play. We got some jars and filled them full of little tiny crabs. We took them home and stopped up the bathroom sink and put all those little crabs in the water and went out to play. It wasn't long, Mom was screaming out the window for us to come in. The baby crabs had escaped and they were all over the bathroom - some had even made it into the hall and living room. Boy, was Mom upset - we thought it was kinda funny, though!!

I remember as teenagers - he was going to his first dance and I taught him to dance! Now, that was funny! Once we were dancing along - showing Mom and Dad how well he was doing and he swung me around and bent me over backwards and was holding me low - out of the blue, he said, "What? they found gold in California???" and dropped me right on the floor and ran out of the room. Mom and Dad just fell over laughing!

We spent one year in high school together, I was a senior and he was a freshman. Surprisingly, we were fairly decent to each other at school!!

When we were adults - he was a newlywed and I was newly separated, there were times when I was having such a hard time and he'd take the time to come over and talk me through a rough spot - almost like talking me up that hill. What a good brother.

When our dad passed away, Mike was strong for the other 3 of us. I remember when it was time to clean out Dad's closet, Mike and I met at Mom's. He opened Dad's closet and said something about Daddy's clothes. I got very upset and Mike, so gently said to me, "Sis, you go home, I'll take care of this." I left and he took care of it and we never spoke about it again.

The last couple of years we lived next door to each other and sometimes, he'd just knock on the door and come over for no reason - just to have a cup of coffee and just sit and chat. We'd talk about our kids, our "farms", our grandkids. Sometimes, we'd solve their problems - if only they'd listen to us!!

Sure, we had our disagreements and little spats now and again, but we didn't stay mad at each other long - usually, no more than a few minutes!!

Maybe Mike and I weren't "best" friends, but, not only were we brother and sister, we were "good" friends. And, oh, how I miss my good friend tonight.

Lynn

They're Gonna Put Me in the Movies

2007-09-30T22:30:00.000-05:00

One winter Dad was driving down East Kings Hwy, very near the channel 3 station, and a tree limb fell on his car. A reporter raced out there and took some pictures and Dad was on the news that night. Oh, man, did Mike love that (Dad kinda liked it too)- he started singing to Dad the old Buck Owens song "They're gonna put me in the movies, they're gonna make a big star outta me. They're gonna put me in the big time and all I gotta do is ----- act naturally!!!" I guess he sang that to Dad every time he saw him for a long time! Daddy would just grin and walk off!!

Lynn

I Shoulda Been a Cop

2007-09-30T22:24:00.000-05:00

When Mike came home from the Army, he stayed with Mom and Dad for a while. I had a mobile home out in their pasture and lived next door to them. One night Mike went out with some buddies and had, well, a little too much, umm, to drink. (This is before he was saved, folks!!:)) I don't know if Mike ever had a desire to be a cop, but he decided that night that he could be one. There used to be a restaurant named Kickapoo at the corner of Hwy 80 (Texas) and Benton Rd. There were 4 lanes on both roads and on a Friday or Saturday night, there was a good bit of traffic - Hwy 80 was called the Bossier Strip back then. Mike got right out in the middle of the intersection and began directing traffic - he was fairly good at it - he waited for the lights to turn to tell the drivers to stop or go - and sometimes, he was right!!! I think this might have been the night Dad had to go "get" him! It was also the night he lost Dad's car. I think it took driving around Bossier a little while to find it - but it was safe and sound. Listen, Dad was grateful!!! Boy, we laughed about that one for a long time.

Lynn

Voo-Doo-Ooo-Doo

2007-09-30T22:11:00.000-05:00

Remember the guy across the street that Mike and I used to "bird-watch"!! Well, I had a crush on him and he was dating another girl. Mike and I decided that we'd put a hex on him! Daddy had enclosed our single garage and made a bedroom and a small storage room. After Randy was born, those rooms became 2 bedrooms. One was a decent size and the storage room became Mike's bedroom. It was big enough for a twin bed on one side and a chest of drawers on the other and there was a walk-thru right down the middle. You'd walk out of my bedroom, walk through his little room into the laundry room - and porch and to the backyard. So, it was a little space and instead of doors, Dad hung curtains - one between my room and Mike's and one between Mike's room and the laundry room. Got the picture? Well, anytime we were up to no good, we'd go in Mike's room and pull the curtains - it was a great spot for conspiring!! We got one of Terri's little dolls - messed up her hair and got a bunch of straight pins. We started at the feet and stuck pins in and whispered "Voo-doo-ooo-doo" - and would die laughing. We stuck pins all in that doll and got so carried away, before long we were hollering "Voo-doo-ooo-doo"!!! Next day, we saw the guy outside and Mike went across the street to see how he felt - we just knew he'd be sore! Ha!Ha! Those really were some fun times.

Lynn

Woo-Hoo 20 Bucks!!!

2007-09-30T22:03:00.000-05:00

I started working for Pacific Telephone Company in San Francisco when I was 17 years old. I made $70 a week and got paid every other week. Well, one payday, after I got home, I borrowed Daddy's car and Mike and I went to the bank. I parked on the street in front of the bank, so I could look at myself behind the wheel of the car in the plate glass window and sent Mike in with my check to cash it. He came out and handed me the cash. I counted it and there was $20 too much. When I told Mike they gave him $20 too much, he told me he knew and tried to tell the teller. Well, I sent him back in, I knew she had mis-counted. In a few minutes Mike came back with the cash - I counted it again and again there was $20 too much. He said when he told the lady, she got a little exasperated with him - he was only about 13 years old - and told him she did NOT mis-count. So, I gave him $10 and I kept the other $10! We figured we tried and we were 2 happy kids!!!! Ten bucks back then was a lot of money - that would have been about 1964!!

Lynn

A Boy?

2007-09-28T03:27:00.000-05:00

Mike was unable to attend the births of our first two children. It wasn't an option in those days. But, things had changed by the time I was expecting Ryan. We took Lamaze classes and Mike eagerly looked forward to the birth. He excitedly got into his daddy scrubs and stayed with me. I can't say he was a great coach - he was too intent on the baby rather than me.

He told me later that when Ryan was first born, he looked at him and wondered "What is wrong with my baby girl?" Then he realized it was a boy.."hot #$&*, it's a boy!!"

I don't actually remember any of this. My attention was elsewhere. But, it was a topic of conversation with Mike for a long time.

Daddy Down!

2007-09-28T03:26:00.000-05:00

Shanna was in a bicycle wreck when she was around the 4th grade. She had multiple lacerations to her forehead and Mike and I quickly took her to the local physician. He proceeded to clean Shanna's injury and then began giving her shots to deaden the area so that he could suture her injury. She wanted her Daddy and he stood by her holding her hand. I was up closer to her head and talking to her. Dr. Evans was busily giving more injections. At one point, he injected medicine into one area of her forehead, and it squirted out a laceration on the other side of the injury....and hit the wall. I knew Mike was in trouble. I looked at him and he was GRAY. I quickly motioned to the doctor and he and the nurse flew into action. They grabbed him before he fell and took him to a sofa where hey laid him down and gave him orange juice. Shanna didn't care. She just wanted her Daddy.

But, Dr. Evans wouldn't let Mike back up. Dr. Evans finished sewing Shanna and as soon as it was over, she got off her table and went to see him on his sofa. I drove them both home.

Chewin' Bubble-gum!

2007-09-26T01:19:00.000-05:00

Daddy loved to chew my bubble-gum. Yes, you heard me right...my bubble-gum, not his own. When I was little, he would hold me down and "chew" my cheeks (aka bubble-gum) until I was shrieking with laughter and begging him to stop. I remember that his beard would always tickle me while he was slobbering all over me.

I also remember when I was older how I told him I didn't like it when he did it. Secretly, I loved the attention from him...though I must admit, I didn't like the slobber factor.

I would cringe when I would catch Daddy chewin' all over Grace - but, she LOVED it. Just as I did when I was her age.

When Grace was born, I swore to myself that I would never slobber on her bubble-gum as Daddy did mine (and Shanna's, I'm sure). But, in the past few months, I have found myself telling her that I'm going to chew her bubble-gum as I hold her down, nibbling her cheeks and tickling her until she shrieks with laughter.

One day, when she tells me to quit slobbering all over her, I will tell her of her wonderful Poppy - and how he would slobber all over me - and let her know that she has him to thank for the attention.

My Friend, Mike

2007-09-20T19:25:00.000-05:00

The first time I met Mike, I liked him. He walked into the Veterans Rep. office in Central Bible College with that “Hi, I’m your friend” attitude and we hit it off. We spent the next couple of years in and out of the same classes, even lived next door in the same duplex. Our kids played together, our wives talked, and talked, and talked together, and we even conspired against our close friends, the Orbans, together. (That didn’t go to well)

But the thing that really stands out in my memory is our Friday morning breakfasts. Another Vet, Jim George, Mike and I would meet for breakfast on Friday mornings and talk about Vietnam . We all had issues we were still dealing with, and we would lay them out on the restaurant table and talk about Jesus healing us of them. What a time of bonding, the chance to just talk about those things and how Jesus made the difference, not too many people would understand. That’s when I really felt Mike’s ministry, his compassion, his empathy; it made a difference for me. Thanks Mike.

Aimee, your Dad was a stand up man, both as a minister and a soldier.

Thanks,
Jim True

Good Times With Donni and Mike

2007-09-19T13:53:00.000-05:00

Mike was always buggin' me about just "giving him" my old trike., so he could go tooling around the country side. Finally, one day as we were working at his house, he decided that since I wouldn't give him my scooter, that I should take him for a ride through east Texas. That ended the work plan for the day. He got on behind me (he barely fit)...I told him he looked like a big old frog. It was really a tight fit for him, but away we went. We looked like the odd couple zipping along those country roads. I know people got a kick outta seeing such a sight. We had fun though. We didn't accomplish much work that day, but I think Mike really had a good time. I am forever glad we did that.

Mike and Donni were at our house one day for a "country" meal. Helen fried Green tomatoes, fried squash, fried okra and purple hull peas. I grilled some butterfly pork chops. We pigged out, I tell you! I have never seen any body gobble up supper the way Mike did. If fun is eatin' - then Mike was "elated!" Another time we had "Omlets in a bag."

We enjoyed being with both of ya'll so very much. We always had a good time. I won't ever forget our night out at Posadas, then to a movie. We saw "Wild Hogs," and I thought at any moment some one would tell us to shut up all that laughing. I thought we were going to get sick we were laughing so hard. That was a night to remember.

All the times we got to spend with ya'll are treasured memories. Thank you both for being our friends. It made me feel so good to hear Mike laugh.

And then, suddenly it seems, God called you home, even though we were praying so hard for you to be healed. We don't understand it at all, but He is our God, and, now Mike, you ARE HEALED. Just like you used to tell me, "Well if HE doesn't heal me on this earth, then HE will heal me in Heaven."

Even knowing that you are with Jesus and that all is well, we still miss you so very much............we love you, Mike and Donni.

Your friends,
Jerry and Helen Harris

Missing You

2007-09-18T23:43:00.000-05:00

Daddy has always been here for me. All my life, one thing was constant - the fact that I knew without doubts that my parents loved me and were there for me no matter what.

This new reality that I live in doesn't make sense to me. Any time I have ever needed something, all I have had to do was pick up my phone and call my daddy. I never really thought about it, I just knew if I needed something fixed at my house, an errand ran, a mid night snack...all I had to do was call daddy.

Sometimes I would think that maybe I was using him. But, I could always tell how much it pleased him to be needed, to be wanted.

Daddy would almost always take my car for oil changes, or would follow me, then he and I would go to Dairy Queen or some other restaurant while the car was being taken care of. For some reason, since he died, I just can't seem to get my oil changed.

When I lived in the same neighborhood, I would come home and my grass would be mowed. I never had to ask or hint. It would just be taken care of. He would run to the store and pick things up for me and fix things around the house - from shower door seals, to gutters, to toilet thing-a-ma-bobs.

Even though I lived in a different state for the 8-10 months before he got sick and died, it seems like all those little things are more missed and more noticed than they were before.

Tonight was a night that I just wanted to call mom and dad up and say, "why don't ya'll come on over for dinner and a movie?"

I miss you so much, Daddy. Not the things you did for me - but you.

Trim that beard...

2007-09-17T12:56:00.000-05:00

Something happened to me a couple of days ago that reminded me of a laugh that Mike and I shared...

I've never been able to grow a beard that looked nearly as good as my brother's, so I've just kept a goatee. Anyway, Mike and I were discussing beard trimmers one evening at Mom's (I think we both had the same model). I was explaining how easy it was to keep my goatee trimmed and I turned mine on and gave my goatee a whack...fully unaware that it was on the lowest setting, that is until Mike just busted out laughing!! I took a nice chunck of my goatee out...lol Well, needless to say I HAD to trim the rest of it to match the missing chunck on my chin. I told myself that would never happen again!

I was wrong! This time just a few days ago, I forgot to put the guard on and REALLY took a HUGE chunk off! I just knew that Mike was laughing hysterically while looking down on me.

I Love You Big Brother!

Green Thumb

2007-09-05T09:44:00.000-05:00

Mike had a green thumb these last few years. He grew plants and flowers but very little vegetables - too many squirrels would eat any veggies. But, he didn't always have a green thumb. Mike grew up in the San Francisco area, but spent most of his adulthood in the south. We lived in Mansfield during the 80's and all the men had big gardens. Mike wanted to experienced this so he had someone come and break up a large portion of our side yard. He then planted corn, tomatoes, squash, melons, peppers. He was really proud of the corn and when some friends told him that he needed to fertilize the corn, he went down to the feed store and bought a large bag. I noticed that the corn was dying
and went to investigate. Each corn stalk had a brown ring molded around the base of it.

I asked Mike to show me how he fertilized the corn. He got a handful of fertilizer and backed it around the base of each stalk. I explained that he had to put it in the dirt around and not actually on the stalk. We lost all the corn and then the tomatoes started dying. I asked how this was fertilized. He had dug a trench around each plant and put two handfuls of fertilizer in it. We had lots of squash and okra and other veggies - but no corn or tomatoes. I thought this was the funniest thing he had ever done but then I had grown up around gardens.

Mike loved working in his gardens during the following years but he
never again killed tomatoes and corn in this manner.

Bridge my what??

2007-08-22T18:38:00.000-05:00

One day in December of 1999, Daddy, Ryan and I were driving down 3132 in Shreveport, LA. Ryan was in the backseat, I was in the front and Dad was driving. I don't know if I started it or if Dad did, but one of us read a sign on the side of the road. Then the other one read one. Eventually, we were racing, seeing who could read the sign first and fastest. It was just dad and I - Ryan was just sitting in the back thinking he was too cool to play with us! All of the sudden, Daddy shouted out, "Bridge my a** in cold weather!"

Ryan and I were laughing so hard. The sign had said, "Bridge MAY ICE in cold weather." Daddy was like, "What? What did I say?" We told him, and he turned pretty read. He swore he didn't say it, but Ryan and I know what we heard!

Stop Ahead

2007-08-22T18:36:00.001-05:00

We were driving home from church one day (Claiborne). I was sitting in the front seat and Daddy was driving. All of the sudden, out of no where, his big hand came up and popped me in the face! I looked at him appalled. I wasn't hurt, but, my goodness, why in the world would he hit me?! I looked at him and said, "What was that for?"

His reply was quite simple, "The sign said stop a head."

We were just coming to a stop sign. It was just out of sight, so there was a caution sign that read, "Stop Ahead." Daddy claimed, he was just obeying the law, by stopping my head.

He still did that to me years later.

Be Heeled

2007-08-12T20:03:00.001-05:00

When we were living in West Monroe, our church did a ton of fund raisers. One of the most popular (and most repeated) was selling BBQ Chicken and BBQ Beef plates. We would take orders from all over, then go to Danken Trails and assemble plates, then deliver them. We had a blast at Danken Trails putting the plates together and hanging out.

Each plate would have meat, beans, potato salad and a slice of bread. At some point in time, Daddy began taking the heels of the bread and smacking people on the forehead with them, saying, "Be Heeled!" Usually, he would find someone that needed healing for something. It became a tradition - each time we would do a fund raiser there, Daddy would find the new guy (or gal) and heel them.

Happy Anniversary

2007-07-28T17:58:00.001-05:00

If Daddy were alive today, he and mom would have been in Branson, MO on a trip that he had already planned and paid for before he got sick in April. He was so excited about the 2 of them getting away for a weekend together. Usually, when they went somewhere, they would either visit family or take one of the grandkids with them. This trip to Branson would have been a rare time for just the 2 of them.

Instead, mom came to Austin to see me. She and Aunt Lynn (her traveling buddy) got in on Friday. We had a great dinner with Ryan and Jeanie. This morning, we decided to hit the day running, by going to garage sales then to Fredricksburg to hang out.

After a couple of hours of garage sales, we came back to our house to shower and change for Fredricksburg. When we got home, we had yellow roses and white daisies along with some chocolate covered pecans waiting on mom.

About a year or so ago, Daddy and I were talking. He told me a story...I don't know where he got it from. Maybe he read it in an e-mail or a book, or saw it on TV. I don't know. The story goes:

There was a couple who fell in love and married. Eventually, the man became ill and died. (I think from cancer). On the day of the first wedding anniversary since his death, the lady's doorbell rang. She answered the door and standing there was a flower delivery man. She accepted the flowers and opened the card. In his handwriting was a note that said, "I wish I were with you. I love you."

She called the florist and they told her the name of the person who sent the flowers. It was her lawyer. She called the lawyer who told her that when her husband came in to make sure all was in order before he died, he asked him to send her that card along with some flowers for their wedding anniversary. After that, on every wedding anniversary, she would receive flowers.

Daddy told me, "I wish I were rich enough to do that for your mama." I replied that he didn't have to be rich because he had 3 kids! I told him I can take care of that for you. He said, "Well, if this thing gets me, you do that!" We were laughing and being kinda funny. Neither of us really believing that this day would come ever, much less this soon.

I did ask him what he would want the card to say. So, I wrote that for mama. I wish I would have been smart enough to go to the store and let him write the card himself. We just thought we had more time!

I am so grateful to have such an example from both of my parents on how to love. I hope that I am half as good at it as they showed me to be.

I love you, mama and daddy - Happy Anniversary.
Aimee

Hey, Girls!!!

2007-07-23T16:16:00.001-05:00

I guess I have laughed at this story more than just about any other. A few months after Mike was discharged from the service, he came home to Mom & Dad. They lived out in Haughton and I lived next door to them at the time. Mike bought himself a motorcycle and loved riding fast down those country roads. One day, he was taking a leisurely ride down one of those old country roads in Haughton, and he spotted a couple of girls sitting on a porch. He recognized them as girls from the church Mom & Dad went to, so he looked over and gave them a really cool wave. They were really excited and were waving back. When Mike pulled his eyes off them and back onto the road, he about choked. The car in front of him had stopped and there was nothing to do but smash into the back of it! He flew off the motorcycle and slid down the road on his shoulder. But he was such a cool dude. He just jumped up, grabbed his motorcycle (which, unbelievably, he could still ride), hopped on, ducked his head and rode home to Momma, who doctored him up. I don't remember how much damage was done to the bike or to the car - I'm sure insurance had to be involved. But I can tell you, there was damage to his shoulder. He would whine like a baby if any of us would touch it, but in front anyone else, it didn't hurt at all!!! Amazing!!! I still laugh when I think about it!! And don't think I didn't laugh right at him!! When I'd start laughing at him, he'd just grin!!! Lord, I miss that man!!

Lynn

T.P. Memories

2007-07-23T15:58:00.000-05:00

The other day I went to Walmart to purchase T.P. What we call Toilet Paper. As I walked down the aisle, I realized that I had not purchased t.p. in years. Mike was the designated buyer. Mike had severe colitis in the years he was pre-transplant. The doctors said that it was due to the liver disease and he took large doses of Lomotil. The severe diarrhea caused Mike to be very particular when it came to t.p. I remember the first time he came home with a fancy new type of t.p. It was so different and I thought it was gross. But, he needed the t.p. with aloe. That night at Walmart, I called Aimee in a panic. What kind was I supposed to buy? She told me that it was the Charmin with Aloe. I was appalled at the price. I never knew we paid that much for it but felt that I had to get the "right" kind even if he wasn't with me. I related this story to Ryan who told me that his dad brought t.p. with him when he came to visit Ryan. He couldn't use the cheap sand-paper variety that Ryan provided. Ryan said that he started buying the good kind so his dad would be able to use it. When I told Aimee about the cost, she said, "Mom, dad didn't use the cheap kind, he liked the good stuff". She also would buy his "special T.P." when he was coming for a visit.

It's a memory of Mike that causes me to laugh inside every time I open a new roll of the Charmin with Aloe.

Bonding With His Daddy

2007-07-23T15:56:00.000-05:00

Mike was a wild young man and experienced several car wrecks during his lifetime. One weekend night, he borrowed his dad's car and went out for the evening. Coming home, he ran out of gas. He walked on home and went to bed. The next morning his dad wanted to know where the car was. Mike explained that he had run out of gas and it was a mile or so from the house. Oliver got his gas can and told Mike to "come on." They went to the
car and Oliver poured gas in the tank and the gas went thru the opening and poured on Oliver's feet. Oliver got down and looked under the car and asked, "Son, have you been driving fast and hitting bottom?" to which Mike answered, "no, Daddy." Oliver then asked, "Then where is the gas tank?" They found it about a half mile back where Mike had driven over an old bridge and bumped the car hard enough to knock the tank off. Oliver took it in stride and it became a memory of laughter between them.

Take a Stand

2007-07-23T12:28:00.000-05:00

Daddy always stood for what he believed in. He wouldn't back down and he wouldn't waver. If someone had a differing opinion, he would listen to them and hear them out. Then with a quiet confidence, he would calmly and logically point out all the reasons he didn't agree and explain those reasons.

He would always, always, always stand by us kids. No matter what happened in our lives, we knew that he and mom would be there; standing beside us when we needed friends; behind us in case we would fall. They were always there for us.

But, taking a stand on politics, religion, morals and ethics aside, he always took a stand. That is, in the back of the room. Standing while he watched an entire movie. Standing to eat and drink. Standing to talk. When we were younger, I can remember him standing behind the couch to watch TV with us. We would all invite him to sit with us. He was perfectly happy and content to stand there. We eventually quit asking him to take a seat!

A Manly Kinda Man

2007-07-23T12:14:00.001-05:00

Even though Daddy was one of the most loving and kind person I have ever known, he was also a "Manly Man." Yes, he was sensitive to the working of the Lord, to his kids and wife and to everyone and everything around him. Yes, he had empathy for those in need. He would cry when the Lord moved him and he wasn't ashamed of showing his love.

But, there were some things that he was just a man about...

For instance, one time Shanna and I had some friends over. All of us girls were standing around near the front door, when we heard a thump - then several more in rapid succession. We looked towards the stairwell and noticed Daddy bumping down the stairs on his rear. No, he didn't plan it. Somehow, he lost his footing (I'm willing to bet one of us kids left something on the stair - probably Ryan :) and fell down the steps.

Shanna and I rushed over to check on him. By the time we got there, Daddy had jumped up and was assuring us he was alright. We went on to the living room, thinking all was well. While Daddy was bent over in half, hands on his knees, leaning on the door for support! He later told us that was one of the most painful experiences! But, there was no way that he would have shown that pain and discomfort to a bunch of girls, not even his own kids who thought (and still do) of him as a super hero.

Another case of his macho personality - One Sunday at church, dad decided to move the coke machine (by himself, which he clearly shouldn't have done). Of course, the machine fell on him. He was pinned in the doorway of the secretary's office at Claiborne A/G. Someone had to get on either end. Since he was blocking the entrance, one of the men in the church had to climb over the coke machine (while he was under it) and help lift it off of him.

He preached that Sunday morning, despite the pain in his leg. I think he sat on a stool and that was his only concession. He went through the whole week with discomfort. Finally on Saturday, mom made him go to the doctor. His leg was broken! He went the whole week on a broken leg...NO pain medication!

Dad even taught Ryan how to be manly and macho. He was coaching Ryan's baseball team when Ryan got hit by a baseball. He yelled at Ryan to keep going, saying "No Pain, No gain." Of course, all the women, mom included were appalled. Mom called Ryan to the fence...I can't remember for sure where Ryan was hit - either between the legs or in the nose. All I remember was that he was hurt pretty badly. Dad had no clue that he had been hit in a sensitive area :)

As dad became more and more sick, his pride took a beating at having to take pain medications and admit when he felt poorly or was tired. But, he would push himself and push himself until he could barely function. He continued to do everything he needed to do, rarely if ever asking for help.

He was, after all, a man's man.

Grilled Cheese Sandwichs

2007-07-16T21:01:00.000-05:00

"A friend of ours who is a professor at the local community college and has just opened her counseling office (part time) called my wife and asked her to go to Dallas for the weekend. Donni called me and I said, "Go, by all means." They're going to some concert, so I'll be batching it this weekend. With my cooking I should lose some weight! Although, I do make a mean grilled sandwich, bowl of Campbell's soup or bowl of cereal. Not really, I'm a pretty good cook; I just don't like cleaning up afterwards."

- Mike
(from an e-mail)

Daddy always could make the BEST grilled cheese sandwiches. When we were all younger, still living at home, Mom made a schedule. Each of us were assigned a day of the week that we had to cook a meal and a day that we had to clean the kitchen. Shanna and I would always cook and clean on the same night. Ryan would cook, with mom cleaning after him. Dad would clean after mom. Ryan would clean on Dad's cooking nights. Daddy always picked Wednesday night to cook. Since we had church that night, almost every Wednesday, he would cook Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Tomato Soup.

His sandwiches would always be grilled to perfection. Just the perfect shade of golden brown and crispy - not too cooked, not still soft. Even as an adult, I would go to visit daddy and ask him to cook me a sandwich.

Once, when I was pregnant, I really wanted one. Mom and I were meeting early to go to some garage sales. So, I asked her to get dad to make me one for before we left. And, yes, daddy would get up at 5:40 am on a Saturday, just to make me a grilled cheese. Well, I got to her house and ran inside to get my breakfast and let mom know I was there. I hugged daddy and thanked him as he handed me this beautiful, golden brown slice of heaven (I craved them in the first few months of my pregnancy). My mouth was watering as I smelled it. I took a huge bite. And, almost gagged!

He was out of regular cheese, so thought he would just use Pepperjack. I love pepperjack cheese. But, when you aren't expecting it, it can be quite a shock. I ended up tossing the whole sandwich. I ran home (I lived in walking distance) and got some good, old American Cheddar Cheese. He made me a new one.

I can't believe all the little things he has done for me over the years. How many people would get up at 5:40am and make their grown, adult kid a sandwich - much less 2 of them?

I miss you, daddy - I wish I could make you a sandwich right now.
Love, Aimee

The Golden Years

2007-07-13T11:55:00.000-05:00

I finally found out why they call it the golden years. It's how much it costs - all the gold we can get.
Mike (from an e-mail)

Falling (in love and literally)

2007-07-13T11:37:00.000-05:00

Mike and I had fun together whether it was hanging around the house or out and about. We enjoyed being together immensely. It didn't matter if it was window shopping, real shopping, or just sitting together.

In March, I gave our sofa away. He had agreed to use his papasan chair until we decided on a new sofa. As he was sitting with me one evening, his chair rolled back and suddenly he was on the floor (still stuck in the chair) and his feet were sticking up toward the ceiling. We were both laughing so hard and he was in trying to maintain his awkward position while we figured out how to get him up. I finally rolled the chair and he slipped out. We laughed for the rest of the evening...

I've always been a klutz. One time Mike and I were visiting the nursing home. And I tripped and fell. Mike didn't break stride. He walked on. He was laughing so hard as I hurried and caught up with him. We laughed together. I always told him that one day he would fall and I would pay him back. He did fall (but not in my presence). He told me that he jumped up as quick as he could and looked around to make sure no one was watching.

Donni

My Thoughts on Mike

2007-07-13T08:27:00.000-05:00

My bridge to the world
Not afraid to wear pink
Flashy dresser
Not a lazy bone in his body

Manly
Intelligent
Chance taker
Honest
Available
Enduring

Ever faithful
Dreamer
Waiting for me
Always ready
Rich in heaven
Destined for God

Wild
Huggable
Affectionate
Teachable
Loving
Easy on my eye
Yearned for

more than can be said
someone to tell my secrets to
lived, loved, and laughed with me
man of integrity

Missing you, Donni

From Jeff

2007-07-12T01:59:00.000-05:00

Unknown to me at the time I met his daughter, who eventually became my wife, Mike established a time-honored root in his family that blossomed into what became the most influential relationship that a son-in-law could possibly have with a man who portrayed the true meaning of family-worth and dedication.

My words couldn’t dictate his subtle, yet substantial, influence on me, but rather speak of a man who relayed pure and utter love for his family. There are many individuals that claim that they hold their family’s concerns as number one, but Mike’s love for his family is not a circumstance of occasional love, but a state of unconditional love and support.

Although my relationship with Mike was brief, his subtle influential lessons speak volumes of text, while I list them simply.

Unconditionally love your wife, daughter, family members and even strangers.

Don’t be judgmental, but rather accept them for who they are and not who you want them to be.

Learn to keep an open mind even when confronted with adversity.

Sure these are simple phrases to live by, but have you actually followed through with these 100% every single day? Chances are no, but Mike did! What sets him apart from others is that he was a believer, a true living example on how to live your life. He wasn’t an example of what should be, but of what could be!

I personally believe that his internal question was, “How can I make a positive impact on whomever I meet today?" Also, he just wanted to be accepted by everyone. He definitely was! I truly believe he met these internal goals long, long ago without knowing their true impact on people’s lives.

This wasn’t apparent to me until his funeral service, which became so overwhelming to me. A time where you realize that such a wonderful, great and influential person is no longer with you. I feel that not only am I deprived of his presence, but especially my daughter Grace who hadn’t even turned 2 years old yet. She will no longer get to spend time with her Poppy, who spent so much of his time holding her in his arms, rocking her to sleep, comforting her and just plain having fun. She’s been cheated and so have we, in spending time with such a wonderful person who unfortunately left our presence prematurely.

Aimee vaguely speaks of missing you, and I fear that her loss cannot be comforted by me alone. I pray that, even in your absence, you are still capable of providing support to you family even when I feel that I’m inadequate of doing so.

There is only only regret I feel. I never told you, “I love you, Mike”, and that’s my mistake.

Love forever,

Jeff

My Third Dream

2007-07-11T14:05:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I was blessed and had another dream. This time it was more like a real dream and less like a message. There was some funny and weird dream things that happened. He and Ryan went to a movie like they used to love to do.

But, what is clear in my mind and what gives me joy is that when I first saw him in the dream, he was so happy. He was so healthy. He was wearing a ball cap and a long sleeved gray t-shirt. He was smiling and his eyes were sparkling. He was happy. He looked into my eyes and with a big, joyful smile on his face, he said, "Baby, it's just awesome."

I believe that my daddy is in heaven. I believe that he is happy and is whole again. I do believe he is in a better place. I rejoice for him.

But, I am still broken.
Aimee

My Second Dream

2007-07-11T13:59:00.000-05:00

About 30 minutes later, I was finally able to go back to sleep. I had another dream.

This time, dad was standing at a closed door, but his hand was on the knob. He was still in his hospital gown, but he looked healthy. He had his beard. His skin has a rosy tone. His belly wasn't swollen. His eyes were a bright and twinkling blue.

I still couldn't see myself. But, I was looking into his eyes. This time, I was talking. I kept repeating, "Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me." I was bawling in the dream and could hardly breath.

Daddy just looked at me. He said, "I have to, baby. Now come give me a hug goodbye."

I cried harder and kept repeating myself. But, I walked to him and hugged him. I can still feel his arms around me. I woke up as he was turning the knob and opening the door.

Aimee

My First Dream

2007-07-11T13:52:00.000-05:00

That night, when we arrived in Bethany, everyone was already in bed and asleep. Shanna was with mom, who had taken a sedative. We dropped Ryan off at mom's house. Jeff, Grace and I went next door to sleep in the RV.

Grace was out and Jeff was asleep within minutes. I laid on the bed and couldn't quit crying. So, I got up, I wrote in Grace's journal for a while, worked a Suduko puzzle, then finally fell asleep.

As I slept, I had a dream. Daddy was in a hospital bed. He looked as awful as he did the night he came out of the transplant surgery. The difference was that he was awake and no tubes were in his nose or mouth. There were still tubes and lines running in and out of the rest of his body. I saw the blood all over him from the nose bleeds. He had no beard. His skin was still yellow.

He was looking at me intently. His eyes a piercing blue. The eyes showed me how serious he was. I couldn't see myself in the dream...I it was just him, in the bed looking into my eyes.

Over and over, he repeated one phrase, "Take care of your mama. Take care of your mama. Take care of your mama."

When I awoke, I looked at the clock. Only about 11 minutes had passed since I had last looked at it, before falling asleep.

I am not one to dream often. This was the first time that I had ever had a dream that I felt gave me a message. But, that is what I believe it was.

Aimee

When Daddy Died

2007-07-10T19:49:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, May 22, 2007 started out like a normal day for Grace and I. We went to the park with our friends, then home for lunch. She took a nap, then we went shopping for birthday presents. After shopping, I started to drive downtown to meet my old college roommate and another college friend who were in town for supper.

My aunt called me and told me that daddy wasn't doing really well and that the doctor wasn't sure if he would survive or not. She said that I need to think about coming home. Well, I called and canceled my evening plans and turned the truck around. I was sobbing uncontrollably. Something inside of me realized that this could be it. That my daddy might actually die.

I called Jeff and Shanna and Ryan. Jeff left work and took off for home. Shanna told me she didn't know what she was going to do, that she was going to where Shawn was. Ryan told me that he was planning on going home on that Thursday (he didn't have time off at his new job).

Jeff was waiting for me in the driveway when I pulled in. He said what are you going to do? By that time, I just knew deep down that something was wrong.I told him I was going home. He said when. I told him as soon as I could pack. I remember him saying that I didn't need to drive so late in the state of mind I was in. And I remember that my response was, "What if he dies tonight and I'm not there?"

Right after I said that, the phone rang again. It was Aunt Sharri. She told me that it was getting worse, that he was getting worse. Something about his heart and his lungs. She said you need to come on. I told her that I was already packing and I would be there as soon as I could. I called my brother again and told him that he had to come on with me tonight, that daddy might not make it. He got off the phone to call his boss.

In the other room, Jeff's phone rang. He missed the call, but thanks to caller ID we knew it was Aunt Sharri. Then my phone rang. I answered the phone and when she asked if Jeff was with me, I knew that daddy had died. I said yes, would you like to talk to him. As I handed the phone over to him, I said, "My daddy died." He said, "WHAT?" I said, "Well, I don't know, but I think so." I watched him intently as he talked to Aunt Sharri. He looked at me and just nodded.

I sank to the floor. I was so shocked, even though I know the Lord was preparing my heart. I couldn't cry. I couldn't think. I just knelt on the floor next to my half-packed suitcase. I heard Jeff say that Aunt Sharri should call Ryan. I shouted no, that I would tell him.

Jeff took Grace and gave me some privacy. By this time, tears were flowing steadily down my cheeks. I called my baby brother. He said he was on the other line with his boss getting permission to come home. So, I told him to call me right back.

The next moments were a blur. As Jeff finished getting the house ready for our departure, packing himself and Grace, I just sat in stunned silence. Eventually, I made my way to the office, so I could send an e-mail to my friends asking them to pray for my mom. As I sat in front of the computer, I had no idea how to type what I was feeling. So, I just said, "Daddy died. Please pray for my mom."

I called Ryan again. He had permission to leave, but he was in the middle of traffic, driving home. So, I told him that I would come and pick him up for the ride. I asked if Jeanie was home. She wasn't. I told him to call me when he got in the apartment. I think he thought I was weird or something, but I just knew that he would need to be in his house when I gave him the news, not driving around Austin or walking in his parking lot where anyone could see.

I went to our neighbor's house and asked her to watch Bentley. I broke down sobbing again. Then, I called Ryan, again. He was fixing to get in the shower. I said, "Ryan, I got another phone call." He asked what was the news. I told him simply and bluntly, "Daddy died." I am crying now thinking of it. There was a moment of silence. Then I heard his voice crack and he asked if I was serious. I said, "I would not joke." At this point, we were both crying. He needed to get off the line. I understood, but as soon as I hung up, I called Justin.

Justin lives in the same apartment complex as Ryan. Ryan has always thought of Justin as an older brother. I was crying so hard, that I can't believe Justin even understood me. My heart broke a little more as I uttered the words, "Daddy died. Can you go be with Ryan?" Justin sounded as shocked as I still felt. He left immediately for Ryan's.

Though it felt like 3 or 4 hours since I got the call that daddy died, it had only been maybe 30 minutes. Jeff finally had the truck loaded up and Grace strapped in. We left for Ryan's house.

When we got there, Ryan and I hugged. Justin cried with us. Ryan and I somehow ended up in his closet. I think looking for a belt. We ended up standing in there, embracing and crying for about 10 minutes.

We left his apartment for Shreveport. The entire ride, Ryan and I talked about Daddy. We cried. We laughed. We remembered.

As I sit here, remembering that dreadful day, I cry. But, as I read through this blog, I am able to laugh and remember the good times. So, thank you to everyone who has contributed so far. Please, keep your memories coming. Everyone out there was able to see a side of my dad that I didn't get to see or know. I would love to share in those memories with you.

Don't forget. He loved us all so much.

Aimee

Wet n' Wild

2007-07-10T17:24:00.000-05:00

Mike had many facets to his personality. He was a caring provider, protective husband and father, and yet had a wacky sense of humor. The kids were all in elementary school when we lived in Mansfield. One day, we drove up to the house in the midst of a rain storm. We sat for a few minutes and realized the rain was not going to let up. Mike proposed running around to a side door and then he would come through the house and open the closest door. At that time, we were to get out and run to the house. He ran through the rain, opened the front door, and waved for us to come. The kids and I jumped out of the car and ran. He locked the door as we got there. We hollered and yelled and he laughed. He then came outside just as the rain slowed. But, the kids showed no mercy. They turned the water hose on full blast and chased him around the yard while drenching him. We were all rolling with laughter and dripping water. We noticed a neighbor family was standing in the carport and watching us. We had a great time.

Teaching Lessons

2007-07-10T17:23:00.000-05:00

Mike was a really good dad and didn't "provoke his children to wrath". He was much more inventive. One day, when Ryan was in middle school, he noticed Ryan hiding on the side of the road as he left for the church. He immediately realized that his son was cutting school. Mike was much more diabolical. He gave Ryan time to settle and then he returned home. Ryan heard him and jumped in his closet (a very messy closet for this age). Mike proceeded to Ryan's room where he sat down at his Nintendo and played all day. He took a break for lunch and he took a few bathroom breaks. This gave Ryan a little time to adjust his posture during the day. Mike left just as it was time for Ryan to get home from school. Ryan never knew that his dad was teaching him a lesson until he was an adult and Mike shared this with him. Ryan just knew it wasn't always fun to skip school.

Hide 'n Seek

2007-07-09T10:13:00.000-05:00

This is a true story that happened in October of 1956. Mike was 6 and I was 9. How can I be so sure of the date? Well, we lived in California and drove to Louisiana because our grandfather was very ill and not expected to live. Mom and Dad were in Jena at the hospital this particular day. We stayed behind at our grandparents house in Nebo with our Aunt Betty and Uncle Oscar and a few cousins. Aunt Betty got on to Mike about something (don't remember what now) and Mike went and hid out. After a while, Aunt Betty realized that she hadn't seen Michael in a while and went looking for him. When she couldn't find him, she had all of us looking. Papa and Granny's house was in the woods and Uncle Oscar went into the woods looking for Mike - it had been raining and the ground was muddy - there was also a lot of quicksand in the woods and she had visions of him getting trapped in that. I was crying because I thought my little brother was truly gone. I don't remember how long we looked, but when the woods had been searched, the house searched and all the chicken pens had been searched, my aunt and uncle decided the only thing left to do was to let our parents know that Mike was gone. There was no car and Papa & Granny didn't have a telephone, so Uncle Oscar set out walking and hitchhiking to Jena (in the rain), about 10 miles away. After Uncle Oscar had gone and we were all crying wondering what in the world had happened to Mike, in he walked into the living room. You can imagine the commotion that caused. Aunt Betty screamed and grabbed him and hugged him and kissed him - we were all so happy. When things calmed down, she wanted to know where he'd been. Well, after she got on to him, he went and hid under the kitchen table - he laid across the chairs and Granny had an oilcloth table cloth on the table that hid the chairs. Mike fell asleep and slept all through the great search!! When he woke up, he just got off the chairs and innocently went looking for everyone else. Aunt Betty remembered Uncle Oscar going to Jena to tell mom and dad that Mike was missing and she knew she had to get word to them that he was ok. She ran in the rain to a neighbor's house who had a phone and called the hospital and told Daddy what had happened. Not long after the phone call, Uncle Oscar finally reached the hospital. Dad & Mom said when he came in the door, he looked like a ghost - he so dreaded to tell them about their little boy. Mom & Dad were laughing and told him that Aunt Betty had called. Poor Uncle Oscar almost cried! Aunt Betty said she wanted to shake Mike, but she was so glad to see him all she could do was hug him!! What a kid!!!

Lynn

Dates at the Dairy Queen

2007-07-08T01:40:00.001-05:00

Daddy and I used to love going to the Dairy Queen and talking. Usually, we would just get some form of ice cream (almost always blizzards) and sit and talk for ever. I know that we started this tradition sometime while we were living in Mansfield. I have a pretty bad memory (which is one of the main reasons I began this blog), so I don't really remember all the trips we took there.

But, he told me many times...told both me and Jeff, and other people in front of me...that anytime he would ask me when I was younger what I wanted to do more than anything, I would respond with, "Let's go to Dairy Queen!" He and I would be off on one of our Daddy-Daughter Dates.

He said that I would just sit and talk about anything and everything for as long as he would stay there.

The last time he and I went on a Daddy-Daughter Date to Dairy Queen, Grace was with us. The 3 of us went to the DQ about the time that Grace 10 or 11 months old. He and I sat and talked while Grace enjoyed on of her first kiddie ice cream cones. I think we stayed there for at least 2 or 2.5 hours. Neither of us were in a hurry to leave.

I would love to call him up and meet him at Dairy Queen tonight. I will be taking Grace there often and tell her stories of her Poppy.

Love, Aimee

A Little TLC

2007-07-08T01:29:00.000-05:00

When I was in high school, I ran cross country and track. One day during the track season, we had a meet about 2 hours from home. Daddy, of course, came to watch me run. For some reason that day I ran a terrible race. The worst of my short racing life. I ran it about 2-3 entire minutes longer than my previous worst time - coming in dead last for the first (and, thankfully, last) time ever.

I was so bummed out the entire trip home. I don't really remember what daddy said to me, if anything. I just remember him sitting beside me and being there.

I went to bed that night dreading the next day at school. The morning after a race, during homeroom, someone would always announce who came in what place - over the loud speaker which was heard throughout the entire school. I was so used to my name being linked with a high number, usually 1st, 2nd or 3rd. I couldn't imagine them announcing to everyone that I came in dead last.

I was laying in my bed that morning. The alarm had gone off, but I just didn't want to get out of bed. Daddy came in to my room. And I remember thinking that I had to get up now...but instead of flipping on the lights and pulling off my covers, Daddy came and sat beside me on the bed. He took my hand in his and asked if I wanted to go to school. I just started crying and he said to me, "Baby, you don't have to go to school today if you don't want to. You need a TLC day."

I didn't know what TLC meant. When I asked, he said, " Just a little Tender Loving Care." I really don't remember what we did that day. But, I know that we spent the day together. I remember thinking how cool it was that my dad really "got" me.

Today, Daddy, I need some TLC from you. I miss you so badly and wish so much that you were here.

Love, Aimee

Mike Loves Donni

2007-07-06T17:18:00.002-05:00

Mike and I always loved being married. We loved our actual marriage ceremony and honeymoon. But, different people had gotten married in our church right before us and
Mike had allowed them the use of his car so they wouldn't have to ride in a trashed out
car (decorated). By the time our wedding was at hand, we heard through the grapevine that several people were out to have fun with us. So, some friends nipped it in the bud. Kay Boston and Vickie Nicely took Mike's car to decorate in a really pretty way. There was an evangelist at the Duron's that weekend and his secular job was sign painting. He professionally painted our car. My side said, "revival at last" and Mike's said, "another good guy bites the dust"...the hood said "mike loves donni". We loved it. It was fun to drive
while on our honeymoon and looked awesome and gave us great memories.

Love, Donni

Motorcycle Memories

2007-07-06T17:18:00.001-05:00

Motorcycles played a large part of our family life. We dated on a motorcyle as Mike didn't own a car. We took a bike trip for our 10th anniversary. In the beginning, our entire family would ride - Shanna on the tank, then Mike, and finally me. Then we had another baby and our entire family would still ride - Shanna on the tank, then Mike, then Aimee squashed in between us, and finally me. There were no helmet laws and we were young and stupid. We would fly down the highways around Natchitoches. Shanna was so small that her little legs would stick out. Later, Ryan thought it was wonderful for his dad to pick him up from kindergarten on a bike.

As the years went by and our family grew in numbers and size, we no longer could ride as a family. But, each of the kids insisted on their time riding with their daddy. We lived in Mansfield during the 80's and many times Mike and I would meet there on Friday nights.
I would be in the car and him on his bike. So, going home, the kids would take turns. It
was exactly 30 miles between Shreveport and Mansfield. Each child got 10 miles. We had specific stops where we would change out. Mike and a child would lead and I would
follow with the other two in the car. One night it was raining really hard and it was time to go home. The rain doesn't stop in a timely fashion in Louisiana, so we headed out. I was going to make all of the kids ride with me but they all began begging to ride with Mike. He said,
"why not? I have a slicker for me and one for a child...they can take turns"...so, we did.
One child road on the back of the bike in the pouring rain for 10 miles, and then switched out with the next child, and then again in 10 more miles. Each child would hop in the car, drenched and shaking rain from the slicker, just to give it to the next rider. They were wearing helmets by this time. They were laughing and having a good time. Mike and I were too. This became one of our fun memories. I would love to go riding with Mike again.

Love, Donni

Hi, Whatley's!

2007-07-05T23:12:00.000-05:00

Even though Mike and Donni Whatley were only in Bayou Gauche as our pastor,for a short time, I feel like they were the closest friends the Stinnetts ever had.

I will never forget three things that Mike dreamed about during the time I was privileged to know him. He was constantly dreaming about having grandkids, Shanna and Aimee fulfilled that one, and he was so proud of those kids. He always said to me he wanted a place a little ways out of town, in the country; he got that. He also wanted a small camper , so he and Donni could get away for some R and R , for the most part, these dreams were realized as well. Mike was a man that I could trust with my most personal thoughts, and he was closer to me than my own brothers. Mike spent many years here on earth waiting for a new liver, now he is in heaven with Jesus, waiting for his whole body and his family.

I can go own, there is so much more, the time he went with some of the men of the church to Mississippi to help a retired minister do some repairs on his home, and Mike being sick. Two of things we will not forget, the baby dedication of our little granddaughter Selena, and he came back to Community Assembly to preformed the wedding ceremony of our son, Shawn and daughter -in-law Felicia.

God Bless You Guys, We Love Ya
Harold and Elaine Stinnett

Camping Out

2007-07-05T11:01:00.000-05:00

When we were little, Mom and Dad used to take us camping. Usually we'd go to Lake Berryessa in California. Back then, we didn't have a lot of money, no tent, no sleeping bags, etc. So, they'd throw out a quilt, we'd all four lie down in a row with Mike and me in the middle, cover up and sleep out under the stars!! I remember that Daddy was a little leery of snakes, but we had a really good time.

One year on July 4th, when we were about 10 & 13, they took us camping to Lake Berryessa and I got to bring along my friend, Christine Collins - who was a hoot!! Well, of course since it was July 4th, Dad got us some firecrackers. Now, some people had tents and some didn't (like us). There were a lot of people camping that weekend. Back then, there were no bathrooms with showers, etc., only porta-potties and you'd wash off in the lake water. Those porta-potties tended to stay rather busy that weekend. Now, I can't remember who came up with this idea, it could have been any one of the three of us, but we thought it would be so much fun to throw a firecracker under the potty when someone was in it. So, we hid behind some brush and when a kid went in (we wouldn't dare do this to a grown-up), we'd light a firecracker and throw it under the potty. You never heard such hollering and carrying on. And we about split our sides laughing and crying so hard. I think we got 2 or 3 people before we got caught and got in soooooo much trouble. Not only were our parents a little put out, but the kids' parents were really mad. But I'll tell you what, we all agreed, that it was worth all the trouble we got into. Mike and I had a few laughs over the years about this one.

Lynn

Bird Watching??

2007-07-05T10:27:00.000-05:00

When we lived in San Bruno, there was a guy my age who lived across the street from us. He was sort of a funny kind of fellow and Mike and I loved to crack jokes to each other about him. One day we decided it would be kind of fun to "spy" on him. So, that night, after dark, we found Dad's binoculars and sneaked outside. We found a couple of old buckets and turned them upside down by the side fence, then climbed on top and looked through the binoculars into the open windows. The whole time we were just laughing our silly heads off. This was a privacy fence, but from the other side, I'm sure you could see the tops of our heads - from the nose up with binoculars at our eyes. I don't remember seeing anything on the inside of the house, but we were having a great time when Dad popped out and wanted to know, "What are you two up to?" We almost fell off the buckets we turned around so fast! In unison, we said, "Bird-watching" as Mike held up the binoculars. (We had already decided if we got caught, we'd say we were bird-watching) Of course Daddy didn't believe us and made us come inside, but we were never going to confess that we were actually a couple of peeping toms!! So many memories!!!!

Lynn

Mike Whatley

2007-06-27T21:32:00.001-05:00

I am trying to remember how we got to become friends and I quickly go back to around 1978 living in the trailer park at Central Bible College in Springfield, Missouri. A brand spanking new mobile home was being set up a stone’s throw away from our mobile home in the trailer park at CBC. I think we might have made a visit soon after the Whatley family moved in and then the rest has been a life long friendship.

We spent many quality times together as families. No one had too much money so we enjoyed potluck meals, walks around the campus, attending classes, worshiping together at the same church and other activities.

Mike Whatley always looked like a party waiting to happen. He loved to smile and laugh and had mischief in his eyes. One night, it was dark and I (Chris) was standing at my kitchen sink washing dishes. There was a window at my sink and I was focusing in on the chore at hand. All of a sudden, Donni’s face was at the window with her hands in claw fashion and she was growling like a bear. That window was about six or seven feet up so I am sure Mike had a helpful hand in the deed. Especially since I heard a good deal of laughter outside as I had screamed and hit the floor of the kitchen in hysteria. If the truth were known, I had forgotten this particular incident but recently was reminded by Mike and Donni about it, so I am sure it made an impression on them to last nearly 30 years.

Hedge Apples, Osage Orange, Bois D’Arc---whatever that tree is called that grows a lovely, round and bumpy whatchamacallit. Somewhat looks like an orange but disappointedly is not a fruit at all. But Mike LOVED to roll that thing down the top of our mobile home. If I am not mistaken, he drew first blood---and we reciprocated in kind when least expected. I think we learned a lot of mischief from Mike (and Donni).

One of my most favorite memories, though, was during the summer of 1979-I think. Jim and Mike were taking a summer class together so they would frequently walk from the trailer park to class together. This would keep both guys going, usually. One day, however, for some reason, our alarm did not go off. Right on time, Mike was banging on the door looking for Jim. Jim, being jogged from a deep sleep grabbed the first thing he found and went to the door. I was still dozing in the bed and when Jim came back into the room he was kind of flustered. He had put on my bathrobe to answer the door. The bathrobe was a light pink with flowers and lace. I laughed myself silly picturing Mike’s face looking at the sight of Jim standing in our door with my pink bathrobe on. Mike always had animated looks.

One other event that sticks out in my mind especially during CBC days was inner tubing in the snow. I grew up in Wisconsin. Jim grew up in Texas and Mike and Donni in Louisiana. Snow was no big deal to me, but honestly, I have never had so much fun as the night we went out in the evening and I think the four of us piled on a huge inner tube and went sliding down the biggest hill we could find in the trailer park. Yep, we hit a huge bump and we all went flying---different directions---and laughing and gasping for air, we went back up the hill to do it again. Maybe that is one reason why our friendship has lasted so long. We played together, like children, like God’s children.

I remember many things about this man. I think the first thing I remember how much he adored Donni. It appeared that he loved to say her name and more than once I could catch admiration when he would just listen to her. When I think of Mike and Donni that is the first thing I will always remember.

The second thing of extreme note to me is his love for his children and grandchildren. What I was witness to more was his relationship with his kids. He demonstrated unconditional love for them. He expressed such pride in them at all times. Children reflect their parents as they grow up. We enjoyed meeting this family when the kids were very young. I babysat for all of them as pre-schoolers. I was able to see and experience firsthand the love this family had for each other from a very early time. One day Shanna was especially proud to declare, “Sometimes my Daddy toots. Sometimes my Momma toots. Sometimes we all toot!” Mike and Donni did not seem at all disturbed by this revelation.

He also loved being a Grandpa. He was very, very good at being Grandpa. I really think he might have liked being a Grandpa more than being a Dad, but what can you say. Can’t have it all.

The third thing I remember about Mike was that he was always doing whatever it took to supply for his family. But he appeared so cheerful about it all. He was taking full time class loads and working at least one job to make ends meet. I know he did this even while pastoring. He was a hard working man and optimistic.

The fourth thing I remember about Mike and will always be grateful for is the fact that he was a good friend to Jim. Jim doesn’t let his hair down with too many people but he was always more than comfortable with Mike. Mike accepted Jim exactly the way he is and didn’t expect more. They had no need to put on airs with each other and Jim already misses Mike badly because of that.

The last thing I remember about Mike, and very important is that he loved to pastor. I don’t mean just kind of liked it; he was passionate about his calling to ministry. I think he never forgot how far away from God he was when he was lost, but when he gave his heart to Christ, he was committed to serve Him. He loved to preach and he loved people from all walks of life. When I tell folks about our friend, Mike Whatley, I tell them that we have never had a friend who I thought loved ministering for the Lord as much as him. Even though these last few years meant some displacement from full time ministry, I still could see the passion and desire still in him. I know that he was welcomed openly into the arms of the Father and heard those precious words, “Welcome Home, thou good and faithful servant. . .”

I can’t help but think that there is more I could say about this remarkable man. Those of us who had the privilege of knowing him miss him already. He is enjoying Jesus, heaven and he is waiting for all of us to join him there……soon. . .

With Much Love,

Jim and Chris Beach

Naptime

2007-06-27T21:00:00.000-05:00

In the more recent years, as dad became more and more ill, nap time became one of his favorite times. He would sometimes announce that he was ready for some rest, sometimes mom would tell him he needed to go rest. And, sometimes, he would just slip off and it would take us a while to figure out where he was.

He really enjoyed cuddling with the babies as they slept. While they were younger, he would lay them on his chest. Sometimes, he would have to go the bathroom so badly, but he wouldn't want to wake the kids up. So, he would lay there and suffer, until he couldn't handle it any longer. He would carefully get up and hand them over to the nearest person, then race to the restroom.

As they grew, I would see them sleeping side by side. Both out in Napper's Land, as happy as could be.

On the day of Grace's dedication, after the luncheon, he just disappeared. We looked for a little while. Shanna finally found him when she went to go check on her daughter, Abby. Daddy was wiped out and decided to snuggle up with her!

Even when Aunt Evelyn came for a visit, he said that the best part of her visit was that she took naps every day, too. So each day, they would visit for a while, then head of to their respective bedrooms and catch some zzzzzzz's!

We miss your cuddles, daddy!

Aimee

Holdin' Hands

2007-06-27T20:51:00.000-05:00

When we were little, Daddy loved to walk with us, his pointer finger tightly gripped in our little hands. He told me on several occasions that he cherished those memories and that he couldn't wait to create those same memories of strolls with the grand babies, while they held his finger.

While he, mom and Shawn David were here over spring break, we all went to Six Flags. Mom was pushing Grace along, with Daddy walking beside Grace. Grace just reached up and grabbed her Poppy's finger. They walked around like that for quite a while. I am so thankful that he was able to have that memory. I am even more grateful that I was there to see it.

We miss you more and more, Daddy.

Aimee

Rag Dolls!

2007-06-23T22:28:00.001-05:00

When Shanna and I were little, we traveled quite frequently between Springfield and Shreveport. Mom and Dad had a station wagon at the time...since seat belts and car seats were an option and not a requirement, mom would make a pallet for us in the back of the car. Then on the ride, while daddy was driving, he would yell, "RAG DOLLS" and then start driving all crazy. Shanna and I had to lie limp on the floor of the vehicle and roll as the car moved us. We weren't allowed to make any movements on our own. We would shriek with laughter as we rolled into each other, into the car sides, on top of each other. That game lasted for quite awhile, outlasting our time in that car! I know play it with Shawn David when he is riding with me!

Sleeping Outside

2007-06-22T17:00:00.000-05:00

You know I'm not sure what year this happen in, but I think it must have been in the early '60's . Mike,Rick, and Milt wanted to sleep outside, not sure if it was out under the stars or in the car. But anyway I remember that they were given time to settle in or as much as three boys would, then they were going to have a little surprise coming.
I believe it was Aunt Corine, Mama and maybe Aunt Mosele (don't remember how to spell her name). I'm thinking it was Aunt Mosele for sure cause this was her kind of fun. Anyway the adults decided to put sheets on and go out and start making noise and waving thier arms up and down. You should have seen those three boys coming out of the beds they had made to sleep in, huddling together.
Ofcourse they didn't want to sleep outside for a long, long time after that.
Uncle Toby might have been around too, you didn't get much rest with him around.
At the time there was only five of us kids and we all have enough Forshee in us to have a ball all the time. There was never a dull min. when we were all together. I miss those days sometimes.
Love ya Mike,
Annette

My Thoughts on Shaving

2007-06-22T15:19:00.001-05:00

Shave - that's a five letter dirty word. I haven't shaved in 27 years and have had a mustache since I was 18. I'm not sure I even have a chin anymore. My kids wouldn't know me if I shaved. My son not only says that the hair on top of my head is falling through but that I grow it to hide as much ugly as possible. He's the one that watches out for me and says he loves me, I would hate to think what it would be like if he didn't like me.

He's really a good kid he never hangs the phone up without telling me he loves me or leaves the house with saying it and most of the time he'll kiss my bald spot. My girls are the same way. In case you hadn't noticed I'm real close to my yunguns.

I've been thinking of coloring my beard again. I go through these phases where I'll color it for a while then when the vanity wears off I let it go natural. I was going through the bathroom closet and found some beard coloring, that's what made me think of it, I hate to let it just sit and go bad. I'm so vain, ha.
- Mike Whatley (via e-mail letter)

LifeShare News Article

2007-06-22T15:13:00.000-05:00

LifeShare celebrates 65 years of offering hope to those who need blood
June 14, 2007
By Mary Jimenez

For Aimee Houghton's birthday May 14, she received a call from her father, the last one she would ever get.

"He'd been taken off the ventilator," said Houghton, whose 57-year-old father, Michael Whatley, died May 22 from complications following a liver transplant. "It was the best birthday I ever had."

It'd taken eight years on the liver transplant waiting list for the call to come. Whatley, an associate pastor at Bethel Assembly of God, was in the hospital and so sick when the call came, he didn't even know he'd gotten a new liver May 9 until the family told him May 14.

"They had to give him quite a lot of blood during the surgery, and he almost didn't make it," Houghton said. "The nurses were saying he used something like 45 units during the surgery. And I know he needed more than 20 units more following the transplant."

Houghton is sharing the family's story of loss to express how grateful they are to donors for the time with their father.

The story is one of several shared by local residents as LifeShare Blood Centers celebrates its 65th anniversary.

Today, an open house will be held from 5 to 7 p.m. at LifeShare's Shreveport center, 8910 Linwood Ave.

Advancements in storage and collection procedures now make it possible for the seven LifeShare centers in Louisiana and southeast Texas to process more than 222,000 units of blood products, including red cells, platelets, plasma and whole blood. The first year its doors opened, which was during World War II, 694 units of dried plasma was significant.

"It just shows you how transfusion medicine and the need for blood products has grown," LifeShare spokeswoman Libby Murphy said. "We need about 1,000 units of blood a week right here in Shreveport."

None of the advancements would mean anything without the donors.

And there's no doubt blood donors gave Houghton and her family more time with their father.

Whatley had needed numerous procedures since being diagnosed with hepatitis C in 1994.

"They've always had to give him blood products, the last 10 years had been very hard," said Houghton, who shares the grief of her loss with two siblings and her mother, Donni.

"We are so grateful to people. We know it's hard and it's time-consuming. But for the family of someone who receives, we are so grateful they gave us the chance to fight and hope."

Houghton said her father had about one good day following his transplant. It was the day he found out he'd gotten a new liver.

"He was excited and kept telling my mother all the things they were going to do when he got well," Houghton said. "The new liver did wonderfully, but he was just so sick. We're just accepting that God has a big picture we don't see yet."

Click link to the right for the whole story!

Entries in the Times Obit Guestbook

2007-06-21T23:37:00.000-05:00

June 15, 2007
	Donni,Shanna,Aimee & Ryan We are so sorry to hear about Mike. He touched our lives and so many others in a wonderful way, sharing his love of our Lord. May God bless you and comfort you at this time. Love, Betty & Matthew
	(Monroe, LA)

	June 6, 2007
	Aimee: Your dad was a wonderful man and we truly feel blessed just to have known him and to have been able to witness the unwavering love he had for you, your mom and Ryan. You now have a true angel in heaven watching over you, Jeff and Grace and we pray that you will find comfort everyday just knowing that. May God give you and your family strength and faith during the days ahead.
	Kristen, Eric, Mariya & Dmitry (Haughton, LA)

	May 30, 2007
	Aimee and family, If you need anything please let us know. We are praying and will continue to. All you need is God and time. Love, Darrell and Charity Family
	Family (Fort Worth, TX)

	May 30, 2007
	Please accept our deepest sympathies.
	Gaylen & Kathy (Huntsville, AL)

	May 30, 2007
	Dear Whatley Family, I just wanted to take a moment to echo my husband's sentiments. We all are so sad to hear about Poppy Whappy. This world just isn't as bright without Mike. We will forever be thankful that we had the blessing and privilege of knowing him. What a generous and loving man! Your family had a huge impact in our lives. We met you when we were just starting our family and I am so thankful for the picture of Christ-likeness you showed us. It has truly been a shining example to us. John and I have always hoped to be like Pastor Mike and Sister Donni "when we grow up." Please know we'll be praying for you all. I just wanted to say thanks for sharing your lives with us. With love, Kim Howland
	Kim (Springfield, MO)

	May 26, 2007
	Dear Donni and family, I only knew you and Pastor Whatley for a short two years but what a wonderful memory that you both left with the people of Community Assembly of God Church in Bayou Gauche. Ladies still come up to me and express the wonderful time we had at our Joy Fellowship. Also , I would like to say "THANKS" for the wonderful words of encouragement. We question God went Pastor Whatley had to reside our church because of his health. But God always knows best even went we can not see the full picture. Your family is awsome. May God bless and keep your all in his care. Love you so much, Janice and Dwight
	Janice (Des Allemands, LA)

	May 26, 2007
	Dear Sis. Whatley, You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. I prayed for you and Pastor Whatley often. You guys did a great ministry in our little town of Bayou Gauche. Thank you for sharing your lives with us. Love, The Domengeaux's Daniel, Bridgette, Tori, & Taylor
	Bridgette (Bayou Gauche, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Dear Donni and Family: Our prayers are with you. Mike was a beloved friend. Love, Butch & Helen Farmer
	Blake (Senatobia, MS)

	May 25, 2007
	My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.
	Darla (LaRue, TX)

May 25, 2007

Aimee and Ryan,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. I know we have not talked in years, but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Elizabeth

Elizabeth (Stonewall, LA)

May 25, 2007

	Shawn Stinnett (Des Allemands, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Donni, Shanna, Aimee and Ryan, I was so sorry to hear of the loss of Bro. Mike. I was praying for his surgery to go well. I am sad that I can not be there to hug you all and honor him in person. You know that I have always considered you all like family and Mike as a second father. I would be there if there were any way around my current curcumstances. My life has been forever blessed by the spiritual council and fatherly love that Bro. Mike always gave to me. I know that there are countless other lives that have been changed for the better just by Mike being the man he was,weather that was paster, dad, son, husband, grandpa, friend, brother, Uncle, or even Poppy Whappy :) He is one person that there should be no doubt as to his legacy living on. I will be praying for you all and your families. Love, Christie, Kevin and Logan
	Christie (Port St. Lucie, FL)

	May 25, 2007
	Our prayers are with you. We are sorry for the loss of such a wonderful preacher, father, pastor, and all around good man. May the Lord continue to bless your family.
	Todd (Crowley, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.
	Amanda (West Monroe, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Donni, Shanna, Aimee, Ryan. How I wish there were words. I am praying for you all. I know that I would not be half the person that I am today had it not been for the influence he poured into my life. Generations will be bless by what he has done. All my love.
	John (Springfield, MO)

	May 25, 2007
	Donni: Mike's at home with the Lord whom he loved & served. May you sense the trimph of one of God's choice servants who has "fought the good fight, finished the course & kept the faith." Words are inadequate to express our feelings to you, but we do want you to know of our loving concern. Heaven becomes more real at a time like this. Our investment on the other side is such that we have much to look forward to. This is our blessed hope! God bless you with His love, His hope, and His strentth.
	Don & Marjorie (New Orleans, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Mrs. Donni, I didn't get to know you all that well before this took place, but just remember that GOD will lead the way for you. Keep your head up, and remember that Mr. Whatley doesn't want to see you upset. Always remember that we are all here for you! You and your family are in my prayers!
	Keisha (Shreveport, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Shanna Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time. May God wrap you in His peace and comfort. If you need anything at all, please let us know.
	Mike & Dawn (Calhoun, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Donni, Mike was a man of God and will greatly missed by all. Donni, please know i am here for you..to listen, cry or whatever. Love & Blessings, Carolyn Hughes
	Carolyn (Stonewall, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	DONNI, MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY TODAY. MIKE WILL BE TRULY MISSED HE WAS A KIND MAN AND IT SHOWED BY BEING A GREAT HUSBAND,FATHER AND ESPECAILLY A PROUD GRANDFATHER WHO TRULY LOVED HIS GRANDCHILDREN.GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
	JANINE (BOSSIER CITY, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Donni, Shanna, Aimee, Ryan, you are all constantly in my heart. I am so fortunate that you all and Bro. Mike have been such a large part of my life. I love you. Mindy
	Mindy (West Monroe, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Donni, May you rest in Gods loving arms. Our prayers are with you and your family. I can still see him holding Gracie with that big smile on his face. We love you so very much. God Bless, Mark and Charlotte Eichelberger
	Charlotte (Bossier City)

	May 25, 2007
	Mike was one of the most awesome examples of Jesus I have ever met. He was much loved and will be greatly missed. You all are in our thoughts and prayers. I pray you feel God's peace, love and strength during this time.
	Teresa (Shreveport, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Doni, May God bless you and your family during this time. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy will surely come in the morning. Just keep your head up, Mr. Mike would want you to. Remember, we care and love you...
	Monika (Shreveport, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Donni, We love you and will miss Pastor Mike very much. May God be everything that you need at this time. Love, Dan and Judy
	Judy (Shreveport, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Donni I am so sorry for your loss. Mike was truly special. I'll always remember the good times at Radiology Associates. Love Rita
	Rita (Broken Arrow, OK)

	May 25, 2007
	DONNI, MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AT THIS TIME. PLEASE, KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER, WHAT A WONDERFUL "GRANDFATHER" MIKE WAS.HE TRULY LOVED HIS GRANDCHILDREN. HE WILL BE GREATLY MISSED.....
	SHAREE (GREENWOOD, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	Donni, Mike was a wonderful person, and always kind when he came by work. You and your family will be in my thoughts & prayers. Just remember GOD will see you thru this.
	Toby (Keithville, LA)

	May 25, 2007
	DONNI, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. HE WAS A VERY SPECIAL MAN AND LOVED BY MANY. LOVE, LYN
	LYN (doyline, LA)

Dad's Obituary

2007-06-21T23:35:00.000-05:00

Rev. Michael Edward Whatley

BETHANY, LA - Funeral services for Reverend Michael Edward Whatley, 57, will be held 11:30 a.m. Saturday, May 26, 2007 at Rose-Neath Southside Chapel. Officiating will be Rev. Rob Blakeney, assisted by Rev. Doug Fullenwider. Interment will follow in Forest Park West Cemetery.

The family will receive friends at the funeral home Friday, May 25, 2007 from 5 p.m. until 8 p.m.

Reverend Whatley was born December 2, 1949 in Shreveport to Oliver and Corinne Whatley. He went to be with the Lord May 22, 2007. He graduated from Central Bible College in Springfield, MO. He was a former pastor of 1st Assembly of God in Welsh, LA; 1st Assembly of God in Mansfield, LA; Claiborne Assembly of God, West Monroe and Community Assembly of God, in Bayou Gauche.

His father preceded Mike in death. Left to cherish his memory are his wife, Donni Whatley; Daughter, Shanna Akers and husband Shawn, Aimée Houghton and husband Jeff; son, Ryan E. Whatley; grandchildren: Shawn David Akers, Abby Akers, Aly Akers and Gracie Houghton; his mother, Corinne Whatley; sisters, Lynn Davis and Terri Dickerson, brother, Randy Whatley and numerous nieces and nephews. Also left to remember him is Justin McCready, held dear as a son.

Pallbearers will be Justin McCready, Dustin Thompson, Seth Johnson, Todd Davis, Jared Dickerson and Skratt Scheibel.

The Squirrel's Funeral

2007-06-21T14:13:00.000-05:00

Most of my memories are from child hood, because we weren't together much as adults. Any way, we lived in Santa Paula, Ca. and Mike and Lynn came and stayed with us for a week or two. When they would come it was a hoot for us kids.

Mike, Rick, and Milt came and told Lynn and me that they were going to have a funeral for a squirrel they had "found" dead. They needed enough people to have some to play the "pawlberrys", and mourners. So Lynn and I stood on the side of the grave and cried. One of the boys preached over the squirrel.

Well, I will have to think of more and I know there is more.
I love you Mike and miss you more than you would ever know.
Your Cuz,
Annette

More of my Big Brother

2007-06-21T12:35:00.001-05:00

It's lunch time and here I am again. I have 49 years of memories to relate so it may take awhile.

The last 3 memories I told you about happened while we lived on Second Avenue in San Bruno, California.

When I was in 2nd grade we moved to a house on Santa Lucia in San Bruno. I am not completely certain of the chronological order of these next memories but here goes.

I remember a party my brother, Mike, and sister, Lynn, had in our basement on Santa Lucia. There was a band (I think Mike was playing in the band), lots and lots of teenagers, and somebody snuck in some "potent" drinks. I remember some girl got sick - I remember her being in the bathroom puking.

I remember some of Mike's friends from high school. There was Ron Valdez and Floyd (don't remember his last name). I remember his girlfriend, Arlene. But she was before he met the love of his life - his wonderful wife, Donni.

Our house on Santa Lucia was 2 story - the first floor was actually the garage and basement and the house was on the 2nd floor. We had 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. Well, there were 6 of us. Mom, Daddy, 2 teenagers and 2 small children. Lynn had her room at the back of the house, Mom & Dad had their room and Randy & I shared a room (we were both small, so it was ok for us to share a room). So, that left Mike. He decided it would be cool to make the small room off the back of the house his bedroom. To get to his room you had to go out the back door of the basement. If my memory serves me correctly, whenever it rained, water ran into his room.

Before Mike left for Basic Training (Army), I remember Mike and Daddy got into an argument and I walked out of my room just in time to see a shoe fly across the dining room --- towards Mike. Now, let me say that this was the first (and only) time I ever remember Daddy throwing anything at any of us. I'm sure there were other times when he wanted to throw something at us, but he didn't. And I'm just as sure that Mike deserved having a shoe thrown at him. You see, Mike was a hard headed teenager (to put it mildly).

Well, not long after that Mike left home for Army life. I really missed my Bubby while he was gone. Forty-plus years later, I still have a birthday card he sent me while he was gone.

One time he got a leave and decided to not tell Mom & Daddy he was coming home. He wanted to surprise them. One night there was a knock on the door and I went to answer. I was probably about 9. I opened the door and Mike started sshhing me but I had a big mouth then. I yelled "BUBBY" and Mom and Dad came running. All I remember is Mom crying.

Mom and Daddy decided to sell that house and rent a house on Cottonwood until the school year ended and we moved to Louisiana.

Mike was home on leave again while we lived on Cottonwood, and Lynn had left some grease on the burner of the stove. It caught fire and Mike immediately thought I was the one trying to burn the house down. I remember he fussed at me but big sister came to my rescue.

Then when we moved to Louisiana, Mike came home on leave and drove with Mom and us 2 little darlings, all the way from San Bruno (just outside of San Francisco) to Shreveport, Louisiana. I don't remember a lot about that trip except that Mike drove at night and Mom drove during the day. We only spent one night in a hotel.

Lunch time is over so this will have to be all for today. I'll be back later.

P.S.: Regarding the story about the April Fool's Day trick on Dad --- I have to give Mike & Lynn credit. They did tell me before Daddy got home not to ask for a bite of sugar, but I have that Forshee memory...I forgot!!!

Our mother's pecker...

2007-06-21T11:30:00.001-05:00

Mike and I used to just laugh our heads off every time we were together. He probably had the best sense of humor of anyone I ever knew. Nothing ever bothered him, or at least he didn't let it show, and we always made fun of just about everything.

Just before Christmas of 2004, Mike called me bawling and said that Momma had a stroke. Of course we bawled together for a while and neither of us could speak a full sentence without sniveling like a little couple of little school girls (probably because we're both Momma's boys....and darn proud of it!!), so he put his wife on the phone and I put mine on the phone so Rhonda could figure out exactly what happened and relay the message to me.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I flew to Louisiana either that night or the next day and Mike picked me up at the airport and we went straight to the hospital. After staying at the hospital for about 20 or so hours straight with very little sleep, Mike came in and we just talked and laughed about every little thing. Then the Dr. came in to visit Momma to check on her, and here's where the fun begins!! Momma got a lot of words mixed up after her stroke (poor momma), and she meant to ask the Dr about her knees....but thats not what she said. She asked the Dr "What about my pecker?" Mike and I both had to turn around and literally bite our lips to keep from busting out laughing!! Well, the Dr never missed a beat, he just kept telling Momma that her knees were going to be fine and that she suffered a stroke but with some therapy she'll be ok. As the Dr left, I elbowed Mike and motioned for him to come with me. We followed the Dr into the hallway and with my most serious face ever I said to him, "We're not really worried our Mom's knees, we know they'll be ok in time, and we know that you're going to do the very best you can for her stroke, but what we're really most afraid of is.....well....is our Mom's pecker going to be ok?" The Dr about fell over laughing and Mike and I immediately bursted into tears with laughter. For a couple of years, every time we talked one of us would remind the other about that and again, we'd just about bust into tears all over again.

This is one of the most favorite times I spent with my big brother.

Mike, I LOVE you and I think about you everyday. I miss you terribly.....

Randy

My big brother

2007-06-20T13:51:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here at work (with nothing to do) and reading other entries about my big brother, Mike. I'm going to try to tell you about my big brother - but I may have to do this in parts - because I'm at work!

How do you tell someone about the best big brother ever in a way that they will appreciate the man he was? I guess the best way is to tell you about my memories of him.

Mike was not just my big brother - but he was also my tormentor - a normal big brother. In later blogs you will see that he was also my protector.

Keep in mind that Mike was 8 when I was born.

One of my earliest memories is the time we lived in Candlestick Cove in San Francisco. Mike had been out playing with one of his friends - not sure who, maybe Jimmy (?). I was probably about 3. Anyway, I was playing at the building across from where we lived and I looked up and saw Mike walking home holding the back of his head. I called him "Bubby" until I was way too old to do so. Ok, back to the story. I remember yelling "Bubby, Bubby," but he didn't look at me. When I went home, mom was rinsing the back of Mike's head. You see, he and his friend had been beat up by some boys and he was hit in the back of the head with a large rock. I remember the police coming and talking to Mike. Sorry, that's all I remember of that story.

My next memory is riding in the car with daddy up into the hills around Candlestick Cove looking for Mike...because Mike had gone off to play and not told anyone where he was going. Apparently, he had a habit of doing this, because I remember being told about daddy going up one time to bring him down and spanking him every step of the way. But did he learn his lesson? Nope, not my big brother.

Ok, then there were the many times that Mike and Lynn picked at me about being "found" by mom and daddy. You see I was the only one of us who was blessed with brown eyes and brown hair. Not just among the 4 of us siblings - but I was the only grandchild on mom's side with brown eyes. Needless to say - I BELIEVED THEM!!!! And then our precious little brother was born and the brat had - you guessed it - blonde hair and blue eyes.

I also remember being about 4 or 5 when I was sitting out on the front step one evening and this big fat cat came walking up the walk and of course, being the pet lover of the family, I decided it was my cat. Lynn and Mike came outside and I showed them my new cat. They immediately went back inside and came back with butcher knives, talking about what a nice, fat cat he was and that he would make a good supper. I remember crying my head off because I just knew they were going to kill and cook my new cat.

I think Mike is the one who taught me to hide behind the chair when Lynn's boyfriend was over and every time the boy tried to kiss Lynn - blurt out "hanky-panky."

I remember having a bike wreck with him once...don't remember the details, other than I was riding on his handle bars and we flipped over.

I'll have to share more memories in the next blog. I really need to get back to work. I want to share these memories in chronological order (as much as possible) so you can see the way Mike grew from a boy to the man who loved God more than anyone or anything else in life.

I miss you so much Bubby.

Terri

April Fool's Day 1963

2007-06-20T10:46:00.000-05:00

Mike and I always tried to come up with something fun to pull on one of the parents on April Fool's Day. Well, in 1963, we pulled the best April Fools trick ever!!! Every weekday, Monday through Friday, without fail, when Daddy came home from a hard day's work, he would sit down at the kitchen table and Mom would put a cup of coffee in front of him, along with the sugar bowl. He liked 2 heaping teaspoonsful of sugar in his coffee. This day we thought it would be so much fun to fill the sugar bowl with salt!!! I can't remember which of us came up with the idea, but we both loved it. While Mom was out of the kitchen, we poured out all the sugar and filled the bowl to the brim with salt, all the while laughing at what we thought Daddy's reaction would be. Well, sure enough, about 5:30pm Daddy came through the door, went into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Mom poured his coffee, put the cup and the sugar bowl, along with the teaspoon, down on the table in front of him. Mike & I were hanging in that kitchen, giving each other the "this is great" sign and trying so hard not to laugh. Well, our little sister, Terri, who was probably about 5 at the time, walked up to Dad and said, "Daddy, can I have a bite of sugar?" Oh, happy day - this was going to be better than we could ever imagine!!! We looked at each other and both our faces turned so red, we were thrilled with this outcome. Daddy said, "Sure, baby." And he put a nice big teaspoonful of "sugar" in her mouth. She turned shades of green and when the tears started falling, the parents figured out what we had done. By that time we were laughing so hard we were crying and slapping each other on the back - this was just the best! The last thing I remember is the both of us flying out the front door and down the street when we realized we were the only ones enjoying this moment and both parents were headed for our necks!! It wasn't too long ago that Mike and I talked about this April Fool's joke and got another great laugh over it. Gosh, I miss my kid brother!

Lynn

Mr. Fix It

2007-06-20T01:31:00.000-05:00

Daddy was my Mr. Fix It. From the time I moved out on my own, I have always called Daddy when something needed fixing around my home. When he would come to visit, it wasn't uncommon for me to say, "Daddy, would you mind checking my toilet, it seems to be running." or "Daddy, could you put these light bulbs in the living room ceiling fan, I can't reach." or "Daddy, you wouldn't want to clean my gutters, would you?" From taking my car in for oil changes, to checking my mail, to changing air filters, daddy would do just about anything to help me out. I always knew that I could count on him. Half the time, I didn't even ask, he would just come in and tell me he replaced the rubber seal on my shower, or I would get off work and my lawn would be mowed.

On his last visit to my home in March of this year, he came in and told me that my toilet had been running and he tightened it for me. He offered to show me what to do because it would eventually become loose again. I informed him that by that time he would be back and he could just tighten it again. He laughed and said that was true.

Now, my toilet is running again and he isn't here to fix it. I kinda wish I had taken the opportunity to allow him to show me how, not so much so that I could know, but so that I could say my daddy taught me how to do that. But, mom made me feel better. She said that it tickled daddy pink that I wanted him to come back and fix my toilet when it started running again.

Just tonight, I thought to myself, that when dad came in for Grace's birthday party, he could install the ceiling fan we bought for her room. All the sudden it hit me that, for the first time in my life, he wouldn't be here to help me.

If I won the lottery

2007-06-20T01:21:00.000-05:00

It seemed like every time Daddy and I would take a trip together, he would tell me what he would do if he won the lottery. Pretty much, every single time he told me, it was exactly the same thing. He would say,

"If I won the lottery, I would give a certain amount to each of our extended family members (the amount always depended on how much the lottery was worth that week). The only stipulation I would give them is that they would have to go to financial advisement and take a money management class. And, of course, they would have to agree to not come back to me asking for more! For the grandkids, I would set up trust funds to pay for their college, their first car, their first home, and still a little to ease the way from student to working adult. For the 3 of you kids, I would give X-amount of money. You would have to take the money management classes also, that way you could always stay at home with Grace and the other kids you are going to have (talk about a subtle hint) and never have to worry about money again. You can take vacations and pay cash for everything."

I would then always ask the same question. What about you and mom?

"Well, we would get one of those big RVs and travel the world. I would take your mom to see Yellowstone and the Redwood Forest. We would go to the Grand Canyon and to Mt. Rushmore. I would get a big truck to pull the RV...and a new Harley."

Then I would always say the same thing: "Well, in order for that to happen, you need to start buying lottery tickets!"

As far as I know, he never bought one ticket...but he had already spent the money taking care of his family.

Snow Days and Ice Cream

2007-06-20T01:13:00.000-05:00

When we lived in Mansfield, LA, there was a rare treat....a snow day! Anyone from Louisiana knows that snow is something not seen on a regular basis. They would also know that Louisiana natives don't adapt well to the cold.

I have no idea how old I was, but I think it was the winter of my 5th or 6th grade year. I don't know if it was dad's idea or mom's or one of us kids, but mom and dad bundled us up and we took off outside in the cold. I think that it was dark outside, but my memory is pretty spotty (Shanna or Ryan, you need to remind me! LOL). We walked from our house to a little store about 2 blocks or so away and bought ice cream cones. We then walked the long and windy way home. All 5 of us...eating ice cream, throwing snowballs at each other. My sister, brother and I have often talked to each other about that day. The thrill of the snow, the excused absence from school and most of all, the day together spent laughing and having fun with each other.

I think that it was the same year that there was a newspaper article about the snow where mom, dad and I were pictured sledding down the hill next to our house...all stacked up, laying on our bellies, one on top of the other - laughing and smiling like idiots.

Mom and daddy always had a knack for making everything seem fun and exciting and special!

Our First T.V.

2007-06-19T13:31:00.000-05:00

I would love to reminisce with Mike about our first television set. I suppose he was about 4 and I was about 7 when we got it. It was a Saturday and we wanted to watch tv. Normally we would watch tv at the neighbor's house across the hall from us. But this day, she just didn't want the 2 little neighbor kids hanging around. So, Daddy went to the store (don't remember which one) and bought a television!!!! He told them they had to deliver it that day because there was a show his kids wanted to watch and if we didn't get it that day, well, there was no use in bringing it at all. Shortly after that, here came the delivery men - carrying our brand new tv up the stairs into our apartment (in Richmond, California). Mike and I were just amazed - 2 busy little kids standing perfectly still watching them set it up. Daddy plugged it in, turned the knob to "on" and we watched while the screen warmed up and then, much to our amazement, a picture! We were absolutely thrilled and we sat on the floor in front of the screen and watch the Hit Parade until the t.v. went off for the night - about 9pm. They signed off playing the National Anthem. Wow, we had our very own television set. Whew! You talk about 2 happy little kids!

A New Baby

2007-06-18T07:42:00.000-05:00

I am 2 years, 11 months & 1 day older than my baby brother. My very earliest memory is bringing him home from the hospital. I guess when you've ruled the roost for 2 years, 11 months & 1 day, and then here comes competition, you would remember!! Daddy, my Ma-Maw Forshee (our great-grandmother) and I went to the hospital to pick up Mommy and the new baby. I remember driving up a hill to the front of the hospital - the old Schumpert Memorial in Shreveport. Daddy disappeared through the door and it seemed a life-time later re-emerged with Mommy and something all wrapped up in a blanket in her arms. Ma-Maw got in the backseat with me and Daddy handed her the bundle. I stood up beside her all the way home (waaaaay before carseats) and couldn't take my eyes off my new little brother - he was just what I wanted. Mom says the whole time we were expecting him, I always wanted a little brother, I wouldn't even consider a little sister. As I sit here reflecting on this memory, I am happy for all the years, 57 of them, that I had my wonderful little brother to play with, act silly with, grow up with, solve the world's problems with, argue with, confide in - boy, I miss him.

I love you, Mike.
Lynn

Happy Daddy's Day!

2007-06-18T00:15:00.001-05:00

Today was Father's Day. My first without my daddy. As I sit here crying and feeling sorry for myself, I decide to quit thinking of the future Father's Days in my life and to reflect back on the past and all the wonderful times I have spent with Daddy.

After Daddy died, we were looking through photos for the funeral services. We found cards and letters that the 3 of us have given to dad on past Father's Days. Isn't it so awesome that he treasured those little love notes enough to keep them for years? I actually found a card from me that I gave him around 5-6 years ago inside his truck...a truck that he has had for less time than that. Inside that card there was a letter from me...one that I had written years before, so long ago that there was a crayon drawing one it. Isn't it amazing that the words of a little girl can go on to touch her daddy's heart years and years after she wrote them? As I think of that, I realize that the words he spoke to me will go on for years and years. And will continue to touch my heart and make me feel loved for years and years to come. I find myself using his words and his phrases with Grace. I wonder in she will repeat them to her children.

I would always tell daddy, "Happy Daddy's Day!" The way I think is that anyone can be a father, but not just anyone can be a daddy. It takes a special kind of man to be a daddy. And, Mike Whatley fit that description. He was more than just my biological parent, he was my daddy.

He played with me and had imaginary tea parties with me. He went roller skating with me and helped me to learn to ride a bike. He rescued me from a couple of mean dogs, then later rescued me from my own mistakes. He took us hunting for the perfect Christmas tree, then sat next to it while telling us the true meaning of Christmas. He checked in on me in the middle of the night and spent time praying over me. He took me on motorcycle rides and dates to the local Dairy Queen, where we would spend literally hours just talking. He was at my high school graduation, then at my college. He walked me down the aisle and preformed my wedding. He was there for the birth of my first child and watched over her while I worked. He took me on walks as a child, then later took my baby for walks. He would take me onto his lap every time I wanted to sit there and make me laugh when I needed a smile. He worried over me and prayed over me and loved me all of my life. He spoke to me with love and pride and always made me feel that love and that pride. It feels so strange not to have him at home, calling me for no reason just to see how his baby is doing. It feels so strange that he is not somewhere saying a prayer over me and my family. It feels so strange that I can't hear his voice saying, "I love you, baby."

I just looked at the clock and Father's Day 2007 is officially over. I am so glad and so very sad.

Happy Daddy's Day, Daddy. I love you.

Generosity

2007-06-12T21:20:00.000-05:00

How are you this bright and wonderful day? I am alive and doing well today. Just bought a new couch and hope to get it today; leather with recliners on the ends - brown to go with the Kilim beige walls. Should look good. My wife gave our couch and recliner to our son; I guess she thought that he needed it worse than we did. So, she had a recliner and I had a lawn chair. Honestly, I think she wanted new and knew that this was about the only way her cheap hubbie would go for it - cause I would give my kids any thing they want - and, of course, I would give her any thing too.
- Mike (from an e-mail)

(Daddy LOVED to spoil us...all of us! He enjoyed taking care of us; buying us things we needed or wanted. I know you have all heard that expression, "He'd give you the shirt right off his back." Well, I think it was written about Daddy. He was generous...to his family, his friends, his church and even strangers. He gave away cars (I know at least one person he gave 2 cars to! Technically, he thought he was selling them, but when the person never paid, my dad never said a word. And, after the person didn't pay for the first car, he still let them buy the 2nd! He figured they must need the money more than he did!), bought people cars, groceries, lunch and dinner, and more that I can't even think to list and some I probably don't even know about. That is a lesson that I hope I learned and one I hope to teach to Grace. Be generous, because God will be generous in return).

I loved fresh cherries!

2007-06-12T21:08:00.000-05:00

One thing I really miss about San Bruno is that I knew where a cherry tree was and used to climb upon the fence and pick and eat cherries to my little hearts content. I really love fresh ones. I really spend some money on them when they come in, I eat them by the pound.

Mike (from an e-mail he sent)

Golden Crosses

2007-06-12T14:15:00.000-05:00

When we lived in S. Louisiana, I was in 1st or 2nd grade. For a school craft at Easter time, my teacher told me to bring a small wooden cross to school with me. Unfortunately, many kids in the class told the teacher their parents couldn't or wouldn't supply them with a cross. When Daddy found out that the Easter craft couldn't be done for lack of crosses, he spent an entire evening making crosses for everyone who needed one. The next morning, he took me and the many crosses to school. That day in school, after hearing the message of the cross, all of us kids glued pasta shells to our crosses and spray painted them gold.

Isn't it amazing that a busy father of three with work and church and everything else in life on him wouldn't jump at the chance to get out of making a wooden cross? Instead, my dad didn't just make one, but made around 15-20. Just to spread the gospel to a bunch of kids.
Aimee

Loving on Grace

2007-06-12T13:16:00.000-05:00

Grace, on Daddy's last trip to come see us and spend time with us, you had the best time with your Poppy! One night, after I put you to bed, you decided you didn't want to be there. I am pretty strict about bed time for you and if you cry, I let you cry it out. Well, since Poppy was in town, he asked me if he could go into your room and check on you. I told him, "Of course!" Your Poppy went into your room, snuggled you in your rocker and sang praise songs to you. You feel asleep within about 3-4 minutes, but your Poppy sat in there singing to God and praying over you for about an hour. He loved you so very much.
Mommy

101 Kisses

2007-06-12T12:54:00.000-05:00

When I was in the 3rd or 4th grade, we lived in Mansfield, LA. Dad was the pastor at First Assembly of God. Daddy and I were the only people at the church one day. We were on the platform and dad was doing something at the pulpit. I was standing behind him and while he was working, I was singing and dancing quietly behind him. During my song, I said the words, "And my daddy gave me 100 kisses." As soon as I said that phrase, Daddy turned around, pounced on me and tackled me to the ground! He started kissing me and tickling me, all the while, counting each and every kiss. He didn't stop at 100, though as my song indicated. He gave me 101 kisses.

What did I walk away from that platform with (besides beard burn)? I learned that even when my dad's attention and focus were on work and grown up things, his heart was still listening to mine. He showed me that I am important and that he loved me. He made me feel loved! I know that my dad is up in Heaven right now...and his heart is still listening to mine. I love you, Daddy!
Aimee

Come and Share about Daddy!

2007-06-12T12:47:00.000-05:00

Hey, everyone!

I have decided to write a book so that Grace, Shawn David, Abby and Aly (and all the other future kids and their future families) can know about daddy! Plus, I just love hearing the stories!

If you have a memory to share or if Daddy taught you something during your life, please either post it as a comment or e-mail it to me at: memoriesofmydaddy@gmail.com.

Please e-mail this blog page to everyone you know that has a memory or a story to share with us!

I can't wait to start reading!
Love you all,
Aimee